So, I’m not psychic. I’m about as psychic as a wet towel.
But, I’ve worked with a LOT of psychics over the 10+ years I’ve been investigating the paranormal. Throughout this time, I’ve gotten pretty familiar with working with psychics, how to find a good one, and when I know I’m being taken for a ride. I’m often questioned about this since sometimes people are scammed by self-proclaimed psychics more often these days. Luckily, I’ve managed to find a few good psychics that I think are legit, and I’m here to tell you how you can do that as well.
If you possess psychic and mediumship abilities, this is also for you. If you’re wondering what goes through a client’s heading during a reading, and you’re looking to improve your skills, then these tips and pet peeves will be very helpful to you on your journey.
What I’m going to do is share the pet peeve, and then share the tip to help resolve the pet peeve. Think of it as a problem-solution model for this blog. This is not only for psychics but for anyone who is interested in working with psychics and are wondering how to approach this. Stick around through the end, and I’ll tell you what the good psychics do!
If you want to watch the video version of this blog where you hear the tips directly from me with other commentaries, click here or see below.
Pet Peeve #1: Being Too General
If you’re not familiar with the concept of cold reading, this is definitely something to look into before your next session with a psychic. Basically, it means that the psychic will ask an incredible general question that could apply to anyone.
For example, the psychic may ask or say to me, “I sense an older woman in your life.”
That’s pretty general. Given that majority of the world’s population has an older woman in their life, whether it’s a mother, grandmother, etc., this can easily be picked up. Another one would be, “I’m sensing someone with the letter A in their name.” Again, this is a vowel, and that’s fairly common in most names.
If this is a group setting in where you are receiving your reading with multiple people, then it’s even more likely that the general statements will apply to a person. Usually, in the cold reading pattern, once a person verifies that they have a grandmother with the letter A in their name, the psychic will then read the body language and verbal/non-verbal cues from the client to pursue further.
Another general statement that I’ve heard numerous times from people with abilities is, “This is very old land.”
Okay, so…I’m pretty sure most land is old. Unless you live near a volcano with running lava that is constantly making new land.
Tip for the Psychic: Be Specific
I appreciate specificity more so than generality, even if you’re wrong. If you’re sensing a woman with dark hair and her name is Agatha…say it. I know sometimes psychics may feel a bit self-conscious about the validity of their readings, so they may go for something more general. I also know there are people that don’t like silence, and so they will say things to fill in the gaps while they’re still processing information. Embrace the silence and be as specific as you can.
Tip for the Client: Stay Neutral
It can be tempting to verify and validate a psychic as they go with an enthusiastic, “Yes!” or try to fill in the blanks. Here’s a tip: don’t. Try to stay neutral as much as possible and don’t give away information.
Pet Peeve #2: Reading the Room
This means that the psychic is looking at elements in your home, your clothing choices, what kind of shoes you’re wearing, the type of purse you have, etc. They are basically reading you as a person. If they’re in your home, they’re looking for clues like if you have kids, if you live under powerlines, how close your house is with your neighbor’s, etc.
One experience I had was in a haunted location where I accompanied the psychic during their walkthrough. They walked into the husband’s study and immediately said, “This is a man’s room. I’m sensing male energy.” Given the decoration included leather furniture and a set of antlers on the wall with military maps and such…this wasn’t coming from any metaphysical gifts.
Tip for the Psychic: Go in Blindfolded
If you’re feeling really edgy and brave and you don’t want to be tainted by the aesthetic in the room, close your eyes or use a blindfold. I’ve seen multiple psychics do this, and it seems to be effective. But removing a blatant bias in the room (ie photos, decor, etc.), they ended up depending on a different part of their abilities to read the room.
Tip for the Client: Call it Out
You don’t have to be rude about it. Using the “man’s room” example, I would say something to the effect of, “Oh yeah, the antlers REALLY give it away.” I would say this very lightheartedly because the psychic may not know that their bias is at play here. When you point this out, it will make the psychic become self-aware.
Pet Peeve #3: Not Asking for Consent
This one drives me batty. This is something I will call out in a public forum if I see it. Even if you’re going with a group for a reading, you don’t have to participate if you’re not comfortable. I tend to see this trend on social media as well as in haunted locations where spooky stuff is already on everyone’s mind. The psychic will approach someone and start spouting off a reading right off the bat before the person has a chance to really grasp what is happening. More often than not, this happens publicly and exposes sensitive information in front of strangers.
This is gross. This is violating. Don’t do it.
Tip for the Psychic: Ask for Permission
If you’re really itching to talk to someone about what you’re picking up, pull them aside and ask for permission. If this is happening on social media, ask if you can send a personal message to that person. Then, ask for permission. Never do this in a public forum, especially without permission. Doing it without consent, and in front of a crowd makes it look like you’re trying to put on a show and impress people at another’s expense.
Tip for the Client: You Are in Control
If you’re approached by a psychic because they have a message to give you, don’t hesitate to ask questions. It’s also okay to say no. But if the psychic seems genuine, and you feel comfortable, then go for it. Also, be on the lookout for the psychic trying to charge you for their services after the fact. Or, they leave you on a cliffhanger and say, “For $50 I can find out more.” Walk away. It’s a scam. If the psychic then claims you have a family curse and it will cost $XXXX to remove it, walk away. Call the cops.
Pet Peeve #4: Giving Medical Advice
This is one of those legal points that we often don’t think about in the paranormal. Even if you’re a doctor, you should never…NEVER…give medical advice as a psychic reader. For real. I’ve seen psychics tell their clients they can stop taking their anti-psychotics. The result? The client will no longer listen to their doctor. Needless to say, it has ended up badly. Not just for the client, but a few times, the psychic will be taken to court. I’ve seen psychics sued for pain and suffering, amongst other issues.
There is a difference between a psychic telling you to get a part of your body checked out versus telling you how to treat the condition. If the psychic tells you something concerning your health and body, definitely follow up with your doctor.
Tips for the Psychic: Don’t Treat the Condition
If you are using your client’s spirit guides, and they are alerting you to the ailment at hand, then passing on the message is important. Of course, this can be terrifying to your client, so approach this with as much empathy as possible. Also, be sure to tell your client that you’re not a medical expert and encourage them to follow up with their doctor. Never give advice on how to treat the condition even if you know what you’re doing. You don’t want to open yourself up to legal trouble.
Tip for the Client: Follow Up with Your Doctor
Just to be safe, don’t take any medical advice from a psychic. If they suggest that something is wrong, follow up with your doctor. If any psychic is trying to give you advice on your current treatment, suggest that you change meds, etc. don’t do it until you’ve spoken with your doctor. For some, this could mean the difference between life and death. At the very least, making sure you maintain a good quality of life.
Pet Peeve #5: Refusing to Be Wrong
This one bothers me, especially when it’s highly likely that a psychic is wrong. I know that this will offend people, but it has to be said. I’ve found myself sometimes redirecting psychics if they’re going down the wrong rabbit hole, meaning they’re trusting the wrong vibe. I once had a psychic tell me that she knew I had a living child and I said no. I had lost a few pregnancies, and I initially thought that maybe she was picking up on them. No. She insisted I had a child that was alive and she thought I was lying to her. I even told her my history, and she never budged. I never used her again.
Tip for the Psychic: It’s Okay to Be Wrong
I’m much more willing to work with a psychic who is open to being wrong, than a psychic who is over-confident to the point where they’re never wrong. Being wrong opens yourself up to a wealth of learning opportunities that will only improve your abilities once you embrace them.
Tip for the Client: Be Gentle
As I mentioned to the psychic, it’s okay if they’re wrong. It may mean that they’re not the right psychic for you, their gifts are different from what you need, or something is amiss. If the psychic ends up being wrong, be gentle and honest with them, and possibly redirect them. Sometimes a nudge in the right direction is all they need and then they’re spot on.
Pet Peeve #6: Reading a Famous Location Like It’s a New Place
If I take a psychic to Gettysburg, and the first thing they tell me is, “I get the feeling a massive battle happened here”, my reply is going to be, “No sh*t, Sherlock.” True story. This happened. When it comes to reading famous places, I’ll be honest and say that I take what the psychic says with a grain of salt. This is because I don’t know if they’ve researched the area ahead of time.
Tip for the Psychic: Be Specific
This goes back to my tip about specificity. While you may not be able to read a location on a large scale, you can downsize and tune into one smaller thing. It could be that you click with a spirit that haunts the location. If you’re on a ghost hunt, you might be able to help guide the investigation (don’t take it over) so that the conversation is productive.
Tip for the Client: Call it Out & Ask for Specifics
Going back to the Gettysburg example, I called it out almost immediately. We all know a great battle happened there. When a psychic gets too general, I try to ask specific questions. I may say something like, “Is there anything here in this spot that you might be feeling?” I may even point out a toy, an area, a building, etc. and ask them what they pick up on. Unless they did thorough research on every little thing about a location, this simple redirection can help them without making them feel bad.
Pet Peeve #7: Taking Over & Tainting a Ghost Hunt
This one is HARD to manage. As the director of a team where the psychics used to outnumber the muggles, this one is like herding cats. An example of this situation is that one psychic speaks up (I call this person the alpha-psychic), and then the other psychics in the room start supporting what the alpha-psychic said. It turns into a situation where the psychics in the room are already tainted and may struggle to share any information that is different. It then turns into a mess where two or more psychics are bouncing ideas off each other that could very well be wrong. They’re more interested in validating each other than reading the room.
Tip for the Psychic: Take Precise Notes
You want to create a paper trail that is timestamped and dated as much as possible. If you’re picking up on something ahead of time before your investigation or reading, send an email to your friend, spouse, yourself…just something that shows the time and date. During your walkthrough and investigation, take notes on what you’re picking up. If you have to share it with someone, share it with the leader of the group and go with their guidance on how much to share.
Tip for the Client: Record Everything
The solution to this is setting aside time so that each psychic can do a walkthrough of the property. Have a regular, non-psychic person record the walkthrough on video so that the initial findings are recorded. That way, if there is a hit, we can reference back to the video. If there are common reports about certain areas during the reading, it’s documented. I can’t take credit for this one. My amazing lead psychic, Katlyn, came up with this.
Pet Peeve #8: Caving In Too Easily with Other Psychics
This pet peeve is the complete opposite of number seven. If you’re picking up something, and you share it with the leader of the ghost hunt, be confident in what you’re picking up. I’ve witnessed many psychics tell me one thing, but when another psychic says something different, they’ll completely switch gears and jump on board with the alpha. What’s worse is that I’ve seen some pretend that their differing reading never happened (remember, record). This makes me sad when this happens, because whose to say that the alpha is right? Instead of being tainted and unable to do the reading, this psychic will completely change their alignment and cave in when there’s differing opinions.
Tip for the Psychic: Stay Strong
If you are getting something completely different from what the alpha-psychic is saying, stay strong and say something. Just because you’re picking up on something completely different doesn’t mean you’re wrong. I’ve yet to meet two psychics with the exact same gifts. You might pick up on something different because you’re energy is intune with it.
Tip for the Client: Be the Psychic’s Advocate
If you’re leading a ghost hunt, and you see this happen, don’t let the psychic that caved in off the hook. Mention their initial reading with them and ask what changed. I would recommend doing this in private so that the psychic doesn’t feel embarrassed. Remind them that while it’s okay to be wrong, there’s a chance they could be right, and they should stay confident. Also, tell them to not base their reading off of someone else just because they may be more dominant.
At the end of the day, whether you’re a psychic or a consumer of psychic readings, always be sure to be true to yourself, call out discrepancies as you see them, and don’t be shy when uplifting each other. Today’s world is hard to deal with and it’s stressful enough right now.
So, What Do the Good Psychics Do?
They are open to being wrong. The good psychics not only open their minds but their hearts as well. These folks will have confidence in their readings, but their confidence is also flexible. They will go with the flow of the leader of the investigation or their client. The good psychic will not be pushy or impose their beliefs onto their client or their work. They are adaptable and respectful. These folks acknowledge that they are tools in the process and they are the bridge between the physical and spiritual world. They are constantly curious and they will always study their work. The good psychic is always trying to improve.