We shouldn’t judge anyone, but we all do in some capacity. It’s human nature. I try not to judge, but I’m a very flawed human being; I will be the first one to admit that. Truly, everyone in the paranormal community is a bit judgy, we just don’t want to admit it. Others are a bit more subtle…but we see you.
It’s okay, we’re all human. It happens. Sometimes people just need to vent, while others may be planning elaborate schemes to “takedown” another person. I also hate to be the bearer of bad news, but if someone is gossiping and trash-talking to you about someone else, it’s only a matter of time before they do it to you.
Now that you’re totally paranoid and side-eying your friends, here’s a list of things that we all judge paranormal investigators for doing. Some of these things are just natural things to do and we need to stop judging people for doing. Other items on this list are problematic and toxic traits that just need to stop.
Boycotting investigators for petty reasons
This one is warranted if the investigator being boycotted was caught stealing, harming others, etc. But if an investigator is being boycotted for what they wear, their orientation, sobriety, their religion, their gender, their day job, etc., that’s petty. If you’re leading a boycott movement based on how an investigator looks or dresses, guess what? You’re being judged.
Allowing religious bias to taint perspectives
While the majority of the paranormal community seems to follow one mainstream religion (Christianity), not everyone aligns with that faith. There are thousands of other people who are pagan or follow another line of faith. When you have someone putting a Christian spin on everything in the field (like demons), there may be some judging happening, especially when the person they are communicating with doesn’t follow that faith.
Paraunity
I confess I judge people who are diehard for paraunity. Mainly because, well, I don’t believe in it. Do I support the idea behind paraunity? Definitely. Who isn’t on board with treating people with respect? In my personal experience, the ones who are shouting “paraunity” the loudest are the biggest offenders who cause the most division. Some of us are lone wolves and don’t want to work with other people. With the amount of backstabbing that happens in this field, some folks are really cautious about who they work with. Yet, these are the people who get the brunt of the paraunity hate.
Looping other people into their drama
This one drives me mad. I have enough of my own problems to deal with on a daily basis, I don’t need anyone else’s. Since about 2019, people have tried to loop me into their drama and asking me to be a bulldog for them. Here’s the deal, after all my years of toxic friendships where I was willing to be the bulldog, it only made me look bad in the end. Unless there’s clear black and white evidence that someone is being wronged, keep in mind that you’re only hearing one side of the story. Be careful about getting involved in other people’s drama.
Getting mad when the ghosts won’t speak to them
Oh, this one is my favorite. Just because you pay $100 to investigate a location, it doesn’t mean that the place isn’t haunted. If a ghost doesn’t want to talk to you, and they want to talk to your team member instead, that’s okay. This isn’t the zoo when someone who (willingly) paid money to go to a location expects the trained animals to perform. Hello, welcome to the paranormal field where you pay hundreds of dollars to sit in silence for eight hours. Spirits are not circus animals.
Completely dependent on equipment
Don’t get me wrong, paranormal equipment is great…ish. But it’s not going to prove the existence of ghosts anytime soon. I see people burning bridges and destroying friendships because they believe in a piece of tech SO MUCH that their entire paranormal career depends on it. Becoming too dependent on equipment can be harmful to any paranormal investigator. Actually, being hooked into just one area of the paranormal isn’t good, especially if you’re someone who wants to spread their wings and fly in this field.
Asking the same question over and over again
I didn’t think this was a real issue until I saw it firsthand several years ago. It’s one thing to repeat a question for further validation, but I don’t think it’s necessary to ask a spirit the same question a dozen times. Especially if it’s, “Uncross the rods if there’s a heaven”, “Cross the rods if there’s a heaven”, “Stand on your head if there’s a heaven.” Okay, I made up that last one. But think about it, wouldn’t you get annoyed if you were being asked the same question over and over again while doing multiple tricks? And we wonder why the spirits eventually stop responding?
Provoking
Yep. I will judge you for provoking, especially if you know better. Enough said. If you didn’t know provoking was wrong until this moment, now you know. Go and do better and be an amazing paranormal investigator with empathy!
Only following one person’s journey
There are so many facets to the paranormal community. There are also some brilliant people in the paranormal community who all come from different experiences and walks of life. That being said, you shouldn’t be depending on one person to feed you all of your entertainment and education. We all have our own personal bias when it comes to “ghost theory”, and it’s good to branch out. Then, you can take what you’ve learned from all of these people and figure out what works for you.
Worshipping paranormal celebrities
Going off of my previous comment, the same goes for paranormal celebrities. The talent you see on TV is just as human as the rest of us. Just because they are on television and have a massive following doesn’t mean that they are better than you. They may have more experience, but they are still learning about the field. Also, be gentle to the TV talent. They are people too.
Refusing to learn more
Oh, this one drives me nuts. There are paranormal investigators who are so set in their ways that they won’t even entertain the idea of learning about other theories, stories, research, the list goes on. If there is anything that you need to take away from this blog, it’s never stop learning. Once you become stagnant in your knowledge and practices, the paranormal field will be even more difficult to navigate. Keep pushing forward!
have to disagree with judging investigators on how they dress, how they present themselves, sobriety (really?) and how they dress. If we are to be respected as advocates of the paranormal investigative field, then we should present a professional demeanour when acting as an agent (member) of a team.
When I choose new interns (trainees) for my group, how they present themselves is an important factor in the decision that I come to. This process is a job interview for a professional organization and should be treated as such. Why? Because these people are representing my organization, my reputation and the paranormal community to our clients. I do not need an investigator showing up on-site wearing a dirty wrinkled ‘Satan Rules’ teeshirt, reeking of liquor (sobriety – or not showing up at all because he’s on a bender, or dropping expensive because she’s stoned), with an Iron Cross tattooed on one arm and a swastika on the other. It is the clients wh make the final judgement, not me. Without clients, we have nothing new to investigate, and that is bad for everyone.
However, If a client were to ask for our assistance, and were described as the aforementioned “investigator” we would help them provided that they pass our protocols of not having an illegal activity or drugs on-site and that the property does not risk safety concerns for my teams.
In short, if I were sent to a doctor, lawyer, bank manager, school principal, or dentist who was unprofessional in their workplace, I would judge and I would leave. Oh, and I would post on social media. What they, oy my organization’s members do in their free time is of no concern to me. I’m far from perfect myself and live a certain lifestyle. But when duty calls, I respond accordingly.
I never judge on race, religion, politics, sexual orientation, drug or alcohol use, (one can usually tell an abuser), or anything else personal or unnecessary for becoming or remaining a member I do ask that they do not have outstanding warrants, or have a criminal record that has not been pardoned (especially crimes involving property or assault. I also insist that when they investigate clients that if they do not bring religious or personal biases or issues to the investigation. I place an invisible hook on the outside and have them leave their preformed beliefs on it until we leave, allowing us to enter open-minded and as skeptical (by the original ancient Greek ideology of skepticism)
I do agree with the other nine issues.
One judgement I do have, again in presentation, is how their website’s opening page looks like. I judge the group’s collective mind of how they perceive exploring the paranormal. If the site uses a cartoon haunted house, or cartoon-style ghosts, or anything else that would appeal to a ten-year-old, one gas to question the mindset of the group. As a norm, what you see s what you get. This goes for the spooky/scary groups as well (spectors, demons and ghosts, oh my!). Perhaps this is more of an opinion than a judgement.
Hi Greg,
Perhaps I need to elaborate on the issues of dress and sobriety. You’re the only one that has reached out to me with this interpretation.
Women are more harshly judged for how they dress. For example, the “boycott” I mentioned in my blog was in regards to a large-chested woman who was wearing a t-shirt. She was accused of dressing like a slut, when she was just wearing a t-shirt. Given her physical appearance, almost anything she wears will be form-fitting around the chest. This is often the case with women, whether we decided to wear black, or even wear a v-neck shirt that doesn’t even show cleavage. This is an ongoing issue for women in the field.
Regarding sobriety, in no way was I advocating arriving to an investigation while under the influence. This is in reference to other folks in the paranormal community digging up skeletons in other people’s closets that may have included activities that required rehab and a 12-step program. Former addicts, alcoholics, etc. are being constantly reminded of their past by people trying to stir up drama. Or worse, these people starting rumors about the sober ones because there’s a “history.” It’s rather unfortunate.
I hope that clarifies some things.