When the #MeToo movement became a national story in October 2017, it exposed sexual harassment in nearly every community around the world. Millions of women came forward sharing their own story with the hashtag #MeToo. It really brought to light the ongoing issue of sexual harassment around the world. When you see the numbers on paper, there’s no denying there’s a problem. However, there seems to be one community where the movement hasn’t been embraced; the paranormal community.

Sadly, this doesn’t mean that the paranormal community has been spared from the awfulness that is sexual harassment. This past year, it has become apparent that this is an ongoing issue with women (primarily) in the field. But it does affect all genders (male, female, nonbinary, genderqueer, pangender, etc.).

Sexual harassment is defined as, “unwelcome sexual advances, requests for sexual favors, and
other verbal or physical conduct of a sexual nature…when submission to or rejection of this conduct explicitly or implicitly affects an individual’s employment, unreasonably interferes with an individual’s
work performance or creates an intimidating, hostile or offensive work environment.”

But as we know, sexual harassment happens beyond the workplace. In the situation of the paranormal community, it is happening among colleagues and friends. The United Nations has created a comprehensive list that not only defines sexual harassment but breaks down the different types of harassment from verbal to non-verbal.

According to a 2018 article from NPR, more than 3 out of 4 women have been verbally harassed. Part of the statistics included cybersexual harassment, which is the most common form of harassment in the paranormal community. A non-profit called Stop Street Harassment found that 81 percent of women and 43 percent of men had experienced some form of sexual harassment during their lifetime.

This survey focused on folks 18 and older, and the results are from 2018.

What do these statistics mean for the paranormal community? Think about how many people are in the community. This means that it’s extremely likely that you’ve interacted with a victim of sexual harassment. It’s an awful pandemic that continues to happen and too many victims are suffering in silence.

But why is no one talking about it? Simply put; victims are either afraid to come forward or they come forward, but no one listens.

A Barrage of Messages

About a year and a half ago, I did a photoshoot in a two-piece swimsuit. In case you don’t know what I look like, I’m plus size. I did it for myself since I had never actually worn a two-piece, even in my skinnier days. I did it as a way to claim my positive body image. It was about body positivity and embracing who you are. Overall, it was well-received. But it also sent me thousands of friend requests and hundreds of inappropriate messages. These messages ranged from harmless flirting to full-out threats of sexual assault.

When I clicked the profiles of these people, I was shocked to see just how many mutual friends I had with them. These mutual friends were all from the paranormal community. They were in Facebook groups, they were on Twitter replying to paranormal celebrities. These people had a presence in the paranormal. They’re being called, “Brother” by my friends in the community.

The more I shared my story, the more people came forward to share their own stories. Often, we had the same harasser. I was also shocked to hear that people I had worked with were also offenders. But just because I had a positive experience with that person, it doesn’t mean that they aren’t capable of sexually harassing others.

Why This Happens

My story is not unique, nor was this the first time I received inappropriate messages. There are countless women and men in the paranormal community who are met with this on a daily basis. This is an ongoing issue that continues to be swept under the rug. Especially when the offender is a star in not just the paranormal community, but also the entertainment industry.

Whether we like it or not, there is a hierarchal structure in the paranormal. It’s also a world where professional lines are often blurred. Perps will take advantage of their status in the paranormal world, abusing their position of power.

The victims who have shared their stories to me have stated that they didn’t report it or come forward because they’re worried they would across as overreacting. Or, they’ll negatively affect their team/event/TV show, they don’t think anything can be done, or…they’ll face repercussions in the paranormal community.

Under the Rug

It’s frustrating when your offender is called, “Brother” by your peers. Ironically, it’s para unity that is the driving force in silencing victims.

It’s hard for people to acknowledge that their brothers and sisters in the paranormal are perpetrating sexual harassment and assault. Instead of facing the issue, folks in the paranormal community dismiss the incidents as lies. Or worse, sweep them under the rug.

Paranormal community members should not have to deal with such issues in order to investigate a location, get media opportunities, or even to become a mod or admin in a group. Everyone has a right to investigate free of harassment regardless of age, race, ethnicity, sexual orientation, identity, experience, etc.

Toxic Positivity

This just doesn’t affect the paranormal community, but also the spiritual community. We have to stop discouraging people from talking about sexual harassment because silence is condoning the behavior. Progress won’t be made if we keep discouraging hard conversations. Furthermore, we need to stop teaching that this behavior is normal and to be expected. Instead, we need to start having the conversation of how to stop tolerating it, especially if the harassment escalates in in-person.

We need to stop silencing victims, especially when they are trying to warn others of their harasser. It only encourages survivors to remain silent. There is a tremendous amount of guilt that can come with silence, especially if someone else ends up suffering because of said silence. Even if you don’t feel comfortable saying something for yourself, consider saying something for the next guy or gal that will endure the same treatment.

For the ones encouraging the silencing, especially claiming that “like attracts like” and insinuating that sexual harassment comes from talking about, just stop. Again, if someone else suffers because you silenced someone trying to speak out, that weighs heavily on your conscience and it can be a deafening and humbling experience.

How to Move Forward

Every paranormal group and organization needs to have a policy and protocol on sexual harassment. If you don’t know your group’s policy, ask about it.

To bring further awareness of sexual harassment in the paranormal community, I would also like to do a survey. Because I want to do it right, I’m going to need some help. If you are interested in assisting me in creating this survey, please contact me.

One of the strongest statements one can make is to confront the harasser directly. If someone is speaking to you in a way that you don’t want to be spoken to, say things like, “Please don’t talk to me like that.” Or “Please don’t touch me.” Say what you see, say how you feel, say what you want, and walk away. An example would be, “You made a comment about my body. I didn’t like it. Do not do that again.” Then, leave the conversation safely.

If you don’t feel comfortable confronting your abuser or reporting it, record it in great detail and tell other people about it. Keep any evidence or proof of inaction plus timelines, dates, etc. You can do this with something like a detailed diary entry. There are also tracking worksheets and downloadable templates in various anti-sexual harassment toolkits online. Venting to Facebook can be a cathartic experience. But it doesn’t always help progress with solving the issue unless you call out your abuser by name.

We need to stop tolerating this abusive behavior because “it’s going to keep happening” or treat it like some rite of passage. There need to be more conversations about sexual harassment in the paranormal community. By coming together, perhaps we can stop it, or at least discourage it and send a message that it will not be tolerated in the community.

How to Support Victims

The paranormal community must watch out for each other and encourage others to speak out. Even if you have only been a witness to sexual harassment, you have still experienced a hostile environment. You are indirectly being victimized by the behavior. This means you have the right to report on your own behalf. In addition, many abusers are repeat offenders, so when you report an incident, you are not just doing it for yourself, but also for the countless others following you.

If someone comes forward to you and tells you that they’ve been sexually harassed or abused, be there to support them. Also, ask them how you would like to support them. This is also important; never out someone by sharing their story. It is not your story to tell. Encourage them to speak out, but also respect their decision to not come forward. Here is a great resource on how to help survivors of sexual assault.

Personal Stories & Quotes

To close, a few people have graciously contributed their own stories and quotes on how to move forward in the community. Please note that these stories and experiences may be upsetting.

Since first embarking on my journey in the paranormal field I’ve encountered sexual harassment and biased at an alarming rate. When I began investigating at 18 years old I had no sense of right from wrong or how to deal with the situations I would be thrust into. The lack of confidence in myself or worth as an investigator has me accepting behavior that today I would firmly stand against. Well-known individuals speaking down to me as a woman, only allowing me on projects if I looked a certain way, coping feels in the dark are just a few scenarios I had to learn the hard way how to handle.

I’ve been sexually harassed by fellow teammates, banned from certain projects due to not wanting to get intimate with males involved, spoken down to during interviews, or told “Ill learn with more experience” when I clearly stated before I had worked on the specific topic in question…it’s a never-ending fight of showing the value in my experience and knowledge outside of how I appear physically.

My message to females in the field is we do not have to continue accepting this narrative. Our work is just as valid as our fellow male investigators. We should not have to succumb to sexual harassment, being belittled, told we have to wear certain clothes, or that our work is less than because of our gender. Stand true to your morals and know that any project that lessens your spark or dulls your spirit is not meant for you. The right ones will value you and never make you feel uncomfortable.

– Melody Knapp

Years ago, I won a trip to go on an investigation with a semi-local team. My wife and I road with the founder for a torturous 4 hours. I was insisted on riding in the front with her. Two hours into the drive is when shit hit the fan. The remaining drive was spent on the founder complimenting how young and attractive I was, grabbing my arms and squeezing. The worst was the stories of her fantasy world where she has multiple boyfriends and what kind of acts they have talked about doing and her asking extremely personal questions about me and my wife.

I tried to be calm and not listen because, well, we were not in our vehicle, we were almost there, and we had already paid our portion for the location. Plus, there were going to be investigators we really wanted to meet there. My wife and I both kept changing the subject, and we both were completely disgusted and just ready to get out the vehicle with her.

Once on location, things were finally better. For awhile. Just before bed, the founder was clearly under the influence, and the harassment was back. My wife was still investigating, and this lady was just stumbling. I didn’t want her to fall and hurt herself, so I kind of stuck by close. She then intentionally “fell” on me in the chair and that was her excuse for grabbing my… well you get it. Needless to say, we hitched a ride elsewhere and never spoke to them again.

– Anonymous

There are too many creepers out there. They’re in all walks of life, granted. We should be calling out their atrocious behavior and standing up to them whenever we see it.

Women deal with this every day in every aspect of the world. It‘s far too prevalent in our field. I’ve heard horror stories from female investigators who were harassed, propositioned, sleazed and creeped on, by males who seemed to think it was not only acceptable, but *entertaining.*

We should not stand by and let this shit happen. It’s a black mark against everybody who stays silent and tolerates it.

– Richard Estep

Resources

United Nations – What is Sexual Harassment

Sexual Harassment | U.S. Equal Employment Opportunity Commission

RAINN & National Sexual Assault Hotline. Free. Confidential. 24/7

Stop Street Harassment

Sexual Violence is Preventable – CDC