a christmas carol - The Spooky Stuff by Alex Matsuo

Christmas time is fast approaching. For anyone who has dealt with the loss of someone they love, that loss stays with them. Because of this, grief tends to permeate harder during the holidays. Yes, there’s Christmas cheer and merriment. However, it has lately turned into toxic positivity where the grieving may feel guilty for not being festive.

Even though I’m looking for spirits throughout the year, there’s something about the holidays that just doesn’t put me in a great place.

I find myself grieving just a bit more every year. It’s another Christmas without my mom, grandma, and grandpa. I’m celebrating another Christmas after a rough year of isolation, canceled shows, canceled events, and more. People this year will be hurting more than usual because COVID-19 sucks. It’s okay to not be cheerful and to feel out those emotions.

Does this mean everyone should feel depressed during the holidays? Of course not. But if grief hits you, embrace it and feel it out. Christmas isn’t just about being positive and cheerful all the time. It’s a time to embrace all those emotions because…it’s the Christmas spirit.

Charles Dickens Felt This Way

Yes, the man who created Christmas as we knew it believed that we need to embrace the dead more than anything during the holidays. But one of these beliefs didn’t really stick to modern-day; that Christmas necessitated ghost stories. Ghost stories are not only entertaining, but they also make us reflect on our own losses and ghosts.

Did you know that in 1851, Charles Dickens lost his father, his infant daughter Dora, his sister, and his sister’s son? Yes, it was the Victorian times and death like this wasn’t uncommon. However, losing four critical members of your family in one year is a lot to deal with. Because of this tremendous loss, Dickens firmly believed that we should remember the dead during Christmas more than any other time of the year. That same year, Dickens wrote a heartbreaking essay called, “What Christmas Is As We Grow Older.” I think it’s especially appropriate for this year.

Christmas Is More than Cheerfulness

Not only did Dickens believe that we should remember the dead aggressively during Christmas, but he also believed in celebrating everything. What does this mean? It means celebrating and reflecting on not only successes but failures as well. That also includes heartbreaks, financial losses, plans abandoned, and goals unachieved. That’s a startling difference from what Christmas has become today. For me, this outlook makes more sense, and it makes me feel a bit more validated.

Since my grandma died in 2000, I’ve had this melancholy outlook on Christmas. I realized that year that she was the glue that held my entire family together. I also realized that Christmas would permanently be different. The Christmas after, I had my first devastating heartbreak. Every Christmas after, there was some devastating loss or traumatic event that seemed to damper the holidays. Since then, I always felt like I was a fraud for putting on a happy face during the holidays. Who knew I was celebrating Christmas the way Dickens intended?

Valid and Loved During This Time

This idea of completely embracing all the sides of myself during the holidays has been a challenge. It’s truly a roller coaster of emotions. I guess my reason for writing this blog is to not only tell myself but to also tell my dear readers, that it’s okay to embrace it all. You’re not a fraud for trying to fake a smile during the holidays. You’re not a grump because you’re not feeling the Christmas spirit. If anything, you are capturing the true nature of Christmas. This has truly been the hardest year we have experienced as a collective population. Grief is in the spirit of Christmas. You are valid and loved during this time.

I think one of those most beautiful, and yet sad, parts of A Christmas Carol is that Scrooge is shown shadows of his past. He is shown his broken childhood, his heartbreak, and everything that made him the person he is today. He’s faced with his hurts head-on. This was an integral part of Scrooge becoming a changed man…or in this case, healed.

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Today, we don’t associate Christmas with the paranormal. Let alone see it as a time for ghost stories. Those traditions are for Halloween, right? Well, that’s not how it used to be. It’s oddly delightful that the most famous Christmas story of our time is also a ghost story. For hundreds of years, telling ghost stories on Christmas was a tradition. Some believe that the tradition pre-dates Christmas itself.

The History of Christmas Ghost Stories

Wait, so how in the world did ghost stories make it into Christmas tradition in the first place? This goes back to ancient times back to the pagan roots of Yuletide.

When winter came around, the nights got longer. People spent a lot of time indoors together and telling ghost stories was a popular past time. It makes perfect sense when you think about it. Winter was considered a time when Mother Nature was sleeping and everything is “dead”, so to speak. The Earth is going through its process of rebirth during the Wintertime. From a psychological standpoint, people start thinking about death and lost friends and loved ones during the darkest time of the year. Since we’re stuck inside, we have a lot more time to reflect.

Also, it helps that the candlelight created spooky shadows in the darkness. Let’s not forget that the Victorians had an obsession with death as well!

Before Christmas, Winter Solstice and Yule were celebrated. During this time of year, folks considered the veil to be thinner. This means that ghosts have better access to the world of the living. Even during medieval times, Christmas and Yule were a time for telling ghost stories.

Cancel Christmas

The Puritans wanted Christmas out of the holiday narrative. It was a time of debauchery and other sinful activities with lots of indulgences. We’re talking about food, drink, and physical activities. The Puritans wanted it gone, no exceptions. In the mid-17th century, Puritan leader Oliver Cromwell admonished Christmas. He said this based on the argument that the Bible doesn’t condone it. He also included that Jesus wasn’t born on December 25th. Well, he isn’t wrong. Christmas was put on December 25th to appease those celebrating Yule and Winter Solstice.

Before Charles Dickens wrote A Christmas Carol in 1843, he wrote several other Christmas ghost stories. If you look them up, their plots and themes were eerily similar. They all include a man who despises the holidays, and they change by the end of the story.

Christmas in Dickens’ time was unimportant. People rarely took the day off. The Industrial Revolution had a lot to do with that. However, when A Christmas Carol was published, Britain commercialized Christmas. It resembles the holiday we celebrate today. Dickens certainly had a hand in that.

The Decline of Christmas Eve Ghost Stories

Dickens eventually stopped writing Christmas ghost stories, and that contributed to its downfall. In fact, Dickens thought that he killed Christmas and that its ghost was haunting him. You could argue that Dickens was responsible for the sentimental value of Christmas we have today.

The commercialized Christmas we celebrate today in the United States is based on Victorian customs. Christmas cards, Christmas trees, stocking stuffers, caroling…that’s all Victorian England. Of course, their roots being from pagan customs. But, one tradition didn’t come over; ghost stories on Christmas Eve. Today, we get ready for Santa on Christmas Eve instead of gathering around the fireplace telling spooky stories.

When Dickens took a step back from writing Christmas ghost stories, other authors tried to fill in the void. But they didn’t have that panache that Dickens possessed. Those ghost stories didn’t take off like A Christmas Carol.

Why Didn’t This Tradition Come to the United States?

Today, ghosts and ghost stories stay in the month of October. Well, at least traditionally. We don’t see ghosts and spooky decor during November and December. Since some of America’s earliest long-term settlers were Puritans, it’s not shocking that Christmas ghost stories didn’t become popular.

Granted, America had Washington Irving and Edgar Allan Poe. However, their stories are rarely associated with winter, let alone Christmas. Irving tried though. He’s responsible for creating our modern depiction of Santa Claus.

Another piece of this puzzle is the immigration of Irish and Scottish immigrants to America. What exactly did they bring? Well, Halloween.

It is a weird blend of Irish and Catholic traditions with Samhain and All Souls’ Day merged. For years, Halloween was a holiday for the Scots. They actually tried their hardest to disassociate Halloween from ghosts and make it more about Scottish tradition. It didn’t catch on. As we know today, their attempt was unsuccessful. Ghosts and all things spooky eventually transferred to the famous fall holiday.

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Grieving is Part of the Christmas Spirit