Dreams From 2008

The following paper I wrote four years ago for my audition techniques class at SDSU.  It’s funny to read it today.

Hello, my name is Alex Matsuo and I am currently a junior at San Diego State University, where I am majoring in Theatre Arts-Performance Emphasis. I grew up acting in a group called Metropolitan Education Theatre Network, lead by Alex H. Urban. In the area of acting, I went to the British American Drama Academy in Oxford last summer and there I was immersed into a conservatory setting of acting techniques and learning Shakespeare and contemporary acting. Some of the guest teachers were residents at the Royal Shakespeare Company and I got to meet Alan Rickman, Jeremy Irons, Fiona Shaw, Julian Glover, Henry Goodman and Deborah Warner. Being in Oxford and being in that intense learning environment was the best experience I have ever had in my life. It also really solidified my dream and passion of being a professional actress and singer.

Where I am now is a transition stage, as I am getting ready to graduate. The way I would describe myself physically would be redhead and overweight. I’ve never dyed my hair or have put any chemicals in it before, so my hair is a virgin. I’m only about 5’5″.  And I’m proud to be an average height. I’m not short, but most of my friends are taller than me.

Vocally is an interesting topic. I have had some new discoveries in the past year. I didn’t know I had the ability to sing any soprano part until I started taking voice lessons again. I’ve always considered myself to be an alto and not much of a belter. But as my soprano voice has grown, the stronger my mix has become. I’m really excited to be able to sing more songs. Emotionally, I’m a happy person. I tend to not handle stress well and I’m a very moody person. I’m happy where I am emotionally once I took care of the baggage in my life and learned to deal with my problems instead of drowning in them. A goal I had in my mind was to put more comedy into my life and laugh more often and it has been working.

My hopes and big dreams would be to actually make it in the Broadway world and be able to make a comfortable living doing what I love to do, in the next 10-15 years. I would love to live in New York and be able to do a show such as “Hairspray” or something by Jason Robert Brown and have my whole world dedicated to my craft and not have to worry about taking a job in a Starbucks or a bookstore.  I want to finish school at SDSU and I want to go to graduate school at either ACT or UCSD in the next 5 years. I have a few other schools that are really up there such as Yale, NYU and UCLA. I really enjoy teaching and working with kids in a children’s theatre. I love watching them grow from the beginning of the rehearsal process to closing night. It’s really fascinating and a joy to watch the process and to see how many lives are changed because someone believed in them.

Between now and 10 years into the futures, I would like to get married and have a family.  I also want to do much more traveling within that time frame.  I love taking pictures and I dream of going to Europe and backpacking while taking pictures.  All in all, I want to have an interesting life.  I want to have an acting career and a family.  How I will manage to juggle that, I don’t know yet.  I’m sure I will figure it out and cross that bridge as it comes.  For now, I’m going to keep working and dreaming so that my hopes and dreams may become a reality someday.

Ghosts of My Past

It’s a cheesy title.  But the best I can come up with.  This might be a tad embarrassing to talk about on my blog but this topic has been weighing heavily on my mind and it will affect the development of Japanese Eyes/American Heart.
In the play, Amaya is plagued by ghosts of her grandfather’s unknown past.  These “ghosts” are not seen in the world of the play, but can be seen in the audience’s world.  When the Shakespeare text was intertwined, the characters from The Tempest represented theses “ghosts”.  I originally kept the Shakespeare in because I’m stubborn.  It’s an ambitious decision to intertwine Shakespeare into contemporary text of my own words.  Plus, I was writing this play as my thesis for my graduate degree.  I hadn’t thought that this play would have a life outside of school.  However, I was mistaken.  It has begun to generate interest from others, hence to why I created this blog.  I realized after looking at my last few entries, I hadn’t been writing about the play development lately and for that I apologize.  When I get into my “zone” I don’t think about, “Oh, I need to go blog about this.”  I spend so much time in my books and researching, that I forget about the reporting aspect.  If you know me personally, I love being a dramaturg in theatre about as much as I love performing on stage.  It’s a way to stay involved and also learn as much as you can.  I’ve been doing so much research on Japan and World War II and how it affected Japanese-Americans that I find myself going on tangents when I talk to friends when they ask how my research is going.  Even though Little Women closed in May, I’m still sorting through research on Louisa May Alcott and her work.  I love historical research.  Period.
But now that I’ve taken the Shakespeare out, I feel like there is something missing.  I want Amaya’s interest in learning about John’s past to be more than curiosity, because my intention was more than curiosity.  It has been shaped from the void that is in me because I only had my grandpa for seven years before he passed away.  Seeing the characters I created come to life on stage brought the memories back and made the memories more real than ever.  I still get positive feedback from audience members and there is a strong consensus that the play stands well on its own without the help of good ol’ Will.
I had a few of my actors from the staged reading look at some old family photos of me with my grandparent’s in which the seven year old version of Amaya is based upon.  One took a look at the photos and said, “I can totally see the personality you wrote about in your face.”  I didn’t think it translated as well as I had thought.
Anyway, back to ghosts.  I wrote about the ghosts of my past echoing into my present.  But that’s not all of it.  My family seems to attract paranormal activity.  I’m not going to talk specifics here because I rarely talk about it at all.  But lately, I’ve been trying to educate myself in the paranormal not only for my play, but also to help answer questions that have plagued me almost my whole life.  Education aside, it’s also made me more interested in becoming an investigator and try to help people who are going through something unexplained.   Right now, I have this unexplainable drive to become more involved in my education of this realm that terrified me as a child and continued well into my teens and he offered an online class, and I took the opportunity.
I always felt like that something is motivating me to keep going with the Japanese Eyes/American Heart project.  Something supernatural and something I cannot explain.  I feel like there needs to be a story told; about identity, making peace with your past and accepting that you may never be able to know all the answers or explain everything.  How will the ghosts of Amaya’s past manifest on stage?  Will there be an actor physically leading Amaya to the medals?  Or will it be a fog machine?  Will they be actual actors on stage or will they be the result of lighting and sound designers?  I won’t put the answer here.  All I’ll say is, right now I’m focusing on memory.  If I could draw a diagram of the memories between Amaya and John…Amaya would be God-like, in it that John only exists in her memory, and therefore, his memories exist in her memory as well, but she just doesn’t know it.  Maybe next time I’ll draw something out and scan it so you can see.  It’ll probably help my actors too.
Well, that’s it for now.