You don’t have to dim someone else’s light for yours to shine.
Recently, I was nominated for Best Blogger for a small paranormal-centric awards site. It’s one of many award movements that have happened over the last twelve months. You see some of the same names throughout the different ballots, while others have some new faces. Personally, I don’t see anything wrong with awards, especially when nominations are determined by votes. It gives people a chance to acknowledge someone whose work they enjoy. People nominate for their friends and then vote to determine the winner. No judgment from people on the side.
The Award Trend
Honestly, I’ve never been one to get too excited about award nominations since I usually don’t win. Just the acknowledgment of “Hey, someone thinks you’re doing a good job” is nice, especially when I lose motivation to continue The Spooky Stuff. There have also been times I haven’t been nominated. While disappointing, it isn’t the end of the world. Truly. The names I’ve seen on these various nominations lists have had people who are kicking butt in this field and working hard. There’s a time to bow out.
Of course, there have been some harsh criticisms with these paranormal awards. The whole idea of awards can invoke strong, emotional reactions. There are some fair questions to ask, like who is on the panel that decides who is nominated? Anyway, I think there is room for criticism and constructive feedback. But, some of the criticisms against these awards seem to stem from bitterness over being left out, or even feeling threatened (not sure by what). Sadly, it’s hurting the people who were nominated and now they are feeling less proud of their accomplishment, which is a shame. In this blog, I’m going to dissect some of the more problematic statements and offer a solution.
Problematic Statement #1: We’re All at the Same Level
I’ve seen this comment hundreds of times just this past year since Higgypop announced their award nominations. I vehemently disagree with this. Why? When I look at folks like Loyd Auerbach or Dr. Rachael Ironside, they are absolutely not at the same level as the rest of the paranormal community.
And some hard truths…the ones who most often say, “We’re all at the same level” are the ones who are floating by in the field. Sure, they’ve made friends and have great connections. But they’re not writing, they’re not researching, they’re not creating content, they’re not studying or experimenting, they’re not teaching, they’re not questioning data…should I stop now?
To say, “We’re all at the same level” greatly diminishes the amazing work that major contributors have put forth. Also, if we refuse to embrace the diversity in this field, we will continue to be stagnant and not make any progress in the field of anomalous research.
Solution: Acknowledgement
Instead of putting everyone at the same level, acknowledge and celebrate the accomplishments of others. It could be a degree, the discovery of a new investigation method that everyone has adapted, a new book, a new podcast, etc. There are folks in the paranormal field who are working harder than others. That’s truly a neutral statement.
Problematic Statement #2: We’re All the Same
Again, this is like saying, “I don’t see color.” We are not all the same. Everyone comes into this field with different experiences, different thoughts and ideas, and different motivations. This is a blatant refusal of embracing and acknowledging our differences. This mindset is exactly why people get so mad when someone disagrees with them. When someone has a differing opinion, differing method, differing thought process, people get so angry. This also might be why the paranormal community struggles with peer-reviewed studies and classes because of the lack of acknowledgement of expertise, background, and experience.
Solution: Embrace Differences
Embracing differences of opinions, thoughts, and backgrounds would really make the paranormal community thrive. Saying something as simple as “I disagree” seems to trigger such animosity. Not everyone is going to agree, and the best way to manage it is try to disagree with as much grace as possible. Even if the other person ends up burning that bridge with you, you can rest easy knowing you tried to embrace the difference instead of pushing back.
Problematic Statement #3: In the Field for the Wrong Reasons
Actors win awards, are they in it for the wrong reason? Scientists win awards, are they too in it for the wrong reason? I don’t think it’s a bad thing to get kudos for your work. This is especially true for researchers who want to get their work out there. Teachers get awards too! Are they in education for the wrong reasons? No. People get acknowledged for their work.
Do they get attention? Sure. Isn’t everyone on social media for some kind of attention? Do you not have a YouTube channel for views? Do you not have a website for views? Hey, guess what? When you post a status ranting and having your friends comment, that’s all attention. When you post an emotional status, you’re expecting a response, right? That’s attention-seeking behavior. Everyone does it to a certain extent. That’s just life. Seeking attention for your work (in a healthy way) isn’t a bad thing.
Solution: Check Your Motives
Why are you here? Ask yourself why you’re here in the paranormal community. Do you want to meet like-minded people? Do you want to find proof of spirits? Maybe you want to visit as many haunted locations as possible? Or, are you wanting to become famous? Write a New York Times bestseller? None of the things I listed here are bad things. Focusing on your motivation and what drives you in the field is a great way to keep yourself in check. It will help you evaluate what really matters and whether you’re getting upset over nothing.
Problematic Statement #4: It’s Not a Competition
Um…it absolutely is. Every day is a competition of some kind. This is based on my observations outside of the context of awards. But that doesn’t have to be a bad thing. Also, I’m constantly in competition with myself to do better next time. A little competition and motivation to step it up as has never hurt anyone. Many facets of our lives include a competitive environment like work, volunteer organizations, family, etc.
I’ve seen so much back-biting, social media drama, and just high school level temper tantrums that all come from the fact that the paranormal community is a competition. It’s a competition for friendships, it’s a competition for likes and follows, it’s a competition for interviews, and it’s a competition for a television show. If someone hasn’t grown up in a competitive environment, they may not recognize the signs. Also, they won’t know how to handle it.
There’s even competition to be a speaker at a convention. Even in academic circles, there is competition. In the scientific world, there is competition. These other communities have managed to embrace it and use it to their advantage to further their respective field. Why can”t the paranormal community do that?
Solution: Embrace Abundancy
To counter myself, because that’s fun, competition can also be a toxic cesspool if people don’t know how to handle it. Which, let’s be honest, the paranormal community can’t handle it. I do believe that we can eliminate this thought of competition by replacing it with a mindset of abundance. There are enough likes, follows, TV opportunities, locations, book deals, etc. for everyone to have a piece of the pie. You can still believe in abundance AND competition. What does this mean? Celebrate others when they receive recognition. Know in your heart that your time will come because of abundance! There is plenty of room for everyone to succeed, whatever that means to them!
Final Thoughts
Ultimately, the people who are getting hurt from these words are the folks who were nominated. There are many folks out there who are not part of the popular paranormal cliques on social media and they got nominated. Many of these folks often are underappreciated and not acknowledged nearly enough. Sadly, I’ve seen a few of them want to drop out because they’d rather not deal with the negativity and the hate. That’s incredibly disappointing.
To me, this is worse than the awards themselves. It’s one thing to criticize the awards, but to devalue the nominees is awful. Frankly, it’s nearly crossing a line over to bullying. This is not “para unity”, and it is only creating more dissent in the community. Why not offer your own solution to the issue? Saying “No one gets a trophy” is just as bad as “Everyone gets a trophy.” If someone wants to start an awards page to acknowledge their favorite people or market their own platform, it’s okay. Live and let live. We can acknowledge folks in the community. Someone getting nominated for an award doesn’t devalue or diminish what you’re doing in the field.
