Author: Alex Matsuo

The Six Years After: Love, Live, and Remember

Alex Matsuo

Six years ago today, I was in a car accident that almost killed me.  I was 19 at the time, just finished the fall semester of my sophomore year of college with horrible grades, and very emotional from an incident with my ex-boyfriend that evening.  Plans were made, he ditched the plans, and when I cried, he told me “Your tears don’t matter to me”.  I was crushed.  He was really the only reason why I was in that area in the first place (then come to find out he was wishing I would get hit by a car).  My friend Jenny invited me over to her place for New Year’s and with eyes full of tears and a broken heart, I got in my car and made my way toward her place.  I was driving onto the I-8 west from Montezuma Road in the rain.  My car hydroplaned, and I lost control.  I hit the railing and skidded into the railing over the road.  I got out of the car, a girl stopped and called my mom for me, and another man stopped and helped direct traffic.  I was in Jekyll & Hyde at the time, and we were in tech, so all my costumes, makeup, shoes, etc. were in the car.  I knew my car would have to be towed, so I opened the backseat (driver’s side) door and started to go through my things.  Then, I turned around and saw a car heading towards me.

The car headed towards me.  The car hit me.  I flew onto the hood of the car, rolled off the hood and I fell 25 feet down to the road below.  I landed on my hip and I laid there crying and screaming for help.  I remembered wiggling my toes to make sure I wasn’t paralyzed.  Toes moved.  Good.  I tasted blood in my mouth.  All my teeth there?  Yes.  Hair covering my face.  Arms around my head.  I couldn’t move.  My lower body burned.  Why couldn’t I move?  Why was I conscious this whole time?  I kept screaming and crying for help.  I heard a bunch of women rush to me.  Immediately, one of them asked if there was anyone that needed to be called and I said, “My mother” and I was able to give her my mother’s number.  The rest of the women laid their hands on me and started to pray for me.  The burning in my lower body eased a little.

I started to hear the ambulance sirens.  The wailing got louder and louder until finally, I heard the paramedics approach me.  They immediately asked me if I had been drinking.  I get it.  New Year’s Eve, girl falls off a freeway ramp.  I told them no.  Then I heard a spectator say that I was drunk.  Really?  Anyway.  The paramedic told me that they would have to turn me onto my back.  I said okay.  I didn’t anticipate the excruciating pain that followed.  I screamed.  I couldn’t take the pain.  Then, the paramedics used shears to cut my clothes off and another paramedic waited by with a blanket and covered me immediately.  As I was on my back, I saw the woman who hit me.  She was leaning over the guard rail, crying.  We locked eyes for a moment until I was carried onto the ambulance.  I heard my mother’s voice.  I couldn’t move my neck but I can’t forget the fear and pain in her voice as she told me she loved me.  I told her that I loved her too and to call my best friends at the time.  I needed support.

The trip to the hospital was a blur.  My blood pressure was so low that they couldn’t give me anything for the pain.  Every bump into the hospital hurt.  I remember the room.  It was so white.  The man laying next to me was covered in blood.  They had to put a shield between us and all I saw was red.  The doctors told me that they had to move me from the stretcher to the bed.  I started crying again because I knew of the pain that was to come.  I begged him to not move me.  My body was broken.  The doctor insisted that they would do the best they can to support the broken portion of my body.  As I cried and begged, a nurse put her hand on my head and held my hand with the other.  The crew counted to three.  I screamed again.  The pain was unbearable.  I saw my mother and Lizz, my best friend at the time, turn away as I screamed.  I remember everything was cloudy.  My blood pressure was so low, and the doctors were injecting things in me and telling me to stay with them.  Was I dying?  I looked over at the shield next to me and the man next to me was so still.  Was I in a room where people had died?  I looked back up to the ceiling.  Slowly, things became sharp again.  I heard muddled voices and eventually I closed my eyes.

I’m not sure if I died, but I saw things.  I saw things that I still can’t explain to this day.

I opened my eyes and I looked at the clock.  The neck brace was gone.  And there was a hospital volunteer cleaning the blood off my face.  I’ll never forget his name.  His name was Joe Apple.  As he was cleaning up the blood from my face, I looked at the clock again and it was 12:02am.  It was 2006 officially.  I looked at Joe and wished him a happy new year.  I was feeling much better, realizing that I was given pain medication finally.  Morphine is good stuff.  That evening, I had to get a catheter (not so fun), and I had to get compression socks put onto my legs.  I couldn’t walk.  I could feel my legs, but every attempt to move them was rewarded with awful pain.  The police came in and got a statement from me.  My nurse was wonderful.  She made me feel so safe and she sat and held my hand as I was crying.  I couldn’t be in my show anymore, I couldn’t walk, I couldn’t move in my bed.  Eventually, after being covered with numerous warm blankets, and being comforted by my nurse in the late hours, I fell asleep.  That night, I vertically sheared my pelvis, broke three vertebraes in my back, shattered my tailbone and lost a little chunk of my arm and gashed my forehead.  The next morning would being a six month road to recovery and transitioning back to normal life.  The road would include major surgery, living in a wheelchair, using a walker, months of physical therapy, and forming bonding friendships and relationships that would change my life forever.

As I look back on that night, six long years ago, I look at the person I am today.  While I was recovering at home, my friends came over every week to have movie night with me.  They didn’t mind taking me out and trekking my wheelchair in their trunk.  I truly believe that if my friends weren’t there, I probably wouldn’t have survived the road to recovery.  Every New Year’s Eve, I look back and think about how much worse this car accident could have been.  The traffic light on the street below where I landed, happen to be red at the time.  Otherwise, I could have been hit by another car after I landed, or worse, landed on a moving vehicle.  The angle I landed was weird.  I didn’t land on my head, even though I rolled off head first.  I didn’t land on my legs or my bottom.  I landed in a position that did the least amount of damage.  I’m grateful to be alive today and with all the “what-ifs” that continue to go through my head, I can only account for the fact that I’m alive, I can walk, run, skate, and dance.  I only experience residual hip pain on occasion, especially if it’s cold.  Besides a scar on my backside, if you met me today, you couldn’t tell what happened six years ago.

Then I think about the people I met that night; Joe Apple, the nurse, the girl who helped me in the first accident, the woman who called my mother for me, and the mysterious women who prayed over me.  I kept in brief touch with all but the mysterious women.  No one remembers their presence.  Not even the woman who called my mother.  But I know they were there.  I felt their hands on me.  I remember their voices and calming words.

As I close this reflection, I have to acknowledge the several people who were there for me through thick and thin while I was recovering; Amber, Lizz, Natasha, Lauren, Dante, Robby, Alex, Jenny, JJ, Dirk, Anneke, Shaun, Cory, Troy, Joe, Laura, Jordy, Leilani, Maria, John and if there was anyone I forgot, my sincerest apologies.  There were so many that helped me and were there for me.  I was overwhelmed by the support and I know God was watching over me not only the night of my accident, but also brought me wonderful people to be there for me during recovery.

And finally, my mother.  She was the biggest trooper in this whole situation.  She had to watch me, her daughter, suffer and nearly die while maintaining her own strength and her patience.  I wasn’t the easiest person to deal with.  I often got frustrated with my current state and took it out on her.  I cried daily, I felt so helpless and she was there for me.  I could never repay the commitment, love, and kindness she showed, as well as giving me a slap of reality when I got too dramatic and feeling sorry for myself.

The message I want to leave you with is to cherish your time and make the most out of your life and the most important of all…love.  Do everything with love and compassion.  Life is too short to focus on the negative and hatred.  Sometimes the most bitterest of people need love in their life and no one was brave enough to even attempt to show them love.  Also, if I have learned anything from the experience of my car accident, don’t wait to lose weight before you go to the spa, don’t wait until things “seem right” to take a chance.  Do it now.  You never know when life can change (or end) in an instant.  Live your life to the fullest.  Love the people around you and love the strangers in your life.  You never know what may happen in the future.  Be ready for anything to happen.  Bad things happen, but focus on your response and how you handle the bad times.

And finally, may the year 2012 be the year that all your dreams come true.

Not All Audiences Are the Same

Alex Matsuo

The following is a paper I wrote for my theories class during my graduate studies.  We were asked to write about our own theories of theatre using theorists we studied for that semester.  Since writing this paper, I often revisit it to tweak and alter since my theory has changed numerous times.  Hopefully you’ll enjoy…

Theatre as I see it should have a goal of reaching out to the audience to teach a lesson as well as entertain.  Theatre should be able and attempt to change lives, as it holds a mirror to society.  Teaching and entertaining needs to have a delicate balance, because too much teaching will bore the audience and too much spectacle for the sake of wowing the audience will have them walking away amazed, but their world has not changed.  Theatre is for all people from different backgrounds, good or bad.  In order to make it appeal to all people, there needs to be different styles and methods in which to execute such a potentially life changing art.  Its function should be to allow the audience to escape to a different world from their own and make them laugh, cry and question.  It is the duty of the theatre to provide entertainment and teaching through different genres of theatre, from mainstream musical theatre to classical to abstract and even types of theatre that don’t appeal to the general audience.  If the theatre were to pick one generic style of theatre, it would truly ensure the death of theatre itself.  Only one kind of audience would attend one generic style of theatre and what is the rest of the world to do for entertainment?  The theatre would lose its competition to the television, movies and video games.

The term “audience”, depending on the type of theatre that is presented, is a fairly vague term for such a venue that has the capability of reaching a wide vast of different people from all backgrounds. “Audience” tends to be generalized into one type of group.  When one picture an audience in your head, they imagine a large number of people packed in a theatre, waiting to be entertained by the event on stage.  The visionary’s version of that theatre could vary depending on the specific style of art, language, genre, or visual presentation.  There are shows that only appeal to children, such as educational performances, puppet shows, circus, and mainstream musicals such as the Disney On Broadway family; The Lion King, The Little Mermaid, Beauty and the Beast, just to name a few.    They provide entertainment and most of the time, may a large sum of money because of its wide audience appeal. Then there are performances that are only appropriate to be viewed by adults.  It may be because of complex language or a complex and unique structure that asks for something different from the audience.

The process of achieving this sort of goal in my vision of the theatre would include a variety of different plays, musicals and new works throughout the season.  The mainstream, commercialized, or “Disneyfied” theatre would build the budgets and increase them enough to be able to do the more classical and complex or abstract works that may appeal to a different audience.  By including classical theatre into the mixture, there is more opportunity to explore an older style of plays that would include the works of Shakespeare, Marlowe, Moliere, Thyestes, etc.  Producing Greek tragedies would bring theatre back to its roots.  The theatre I envision would be the familiar proscenium arch with a deep stage in order to accommodate different styles of sets.

The audience should be able to experience a different variety of feelings when it comes to watching a show.  In contemporary times, for many people, theatre has become a place to escape from the real world and to forget about one’s troubles for a few hours.  With popular musicals (or the “Disneyfied” shows), such as Wicked, Beauty and the Beast, The Lion King, etc. ending up with long term runs on Broadway as well as productions being put on all over the country and even the world.  These shows have an appeal to many people, especially families and young, aspiring, musical theatre performers.  Musicals such as these have a greater attraction to the general public.  Then there are the audiences who prefer the more challenging, complex and abstract plays from playwrights such as Suzan Lori-Parks, Samuel Beckett, and Caryl Churchill, just to name a few.  Plays by these artists have a specific message to tell and the way the message is presented utilizes tools to make the audience member view theatre in a different way than just conventional musicals, or the older style of classical theatre.

Beginning with the most popular and mainstream type of theatre; musical theatre, or as I would like to call it, “Disneyfied” theatre.  It is important to address the assumptions associated with this genre because these are feelings reflected from many artists and critics.  It is generalized as a genre that is popular with a wide audience and only in existence for purposes of making money. Bertolt Brecht describes the expectations of the audience in terms of the older style of opera, “It is true that the audience had certain desires which were easily satisfied by the old opera but are no longer taken into account by the new.  What is the audience’s attitude during an opera; and is there any chance that it will change? (Brecht 451). In the context of Brecht, the audience of the older opera time has been conditioned to enjoy a certain type of theatre filled with spectacle and seen as an event for the wealthy to show off their wealth.  In some cases, especially with Wicked, Mamma Mia and other popular shows, there are several productions occurring at once with one set, often rotating the same actors throughout the different productions, same costumes, music, lights, etc.

The criticisms associated with the genre include statements such as, “There isn’t any substance to this.”  The shows can be viewed as often surfaced and don’t hit any nerves deep within the audience’s mind.  There is no need to question what they are seeing on stage.  Shows such as these are focused on spectacle (music, sets, lights) and making money.  Theatre such as this is bounded to its standards and rules because that formula makes money.  Brecht goes on to say, “We have seen that opera is sold as evening entertainment, and that this puts definite bounds to all attempts to transform it.  We see that this entertainment has to be devoted to illusion, and must be of a ceremonial kind.  Why?  In our present society the old opera cannot be just ‘wished away.’  Its illusions have an important social function.  The drug is irreplaceable; it cannot be done without” (Brecht 452-453).  This quote is fascinating when it comes to the audience relationships to the theatre.

The second genre that is often under criticism is classical theatre.  It can still make a large sum of money due to the material being free domain and can be produced by theatres with a low budget.  Or in the opposite idea, theatres can be elaborate in their costumes and sets because they do not need to pay licensing rights to put on a production.  Depending on how the classical play is presenting, it can either appeal to a general audience or the play could be interpreted and produced into a piece with mature content and appeal to a specific audience.  Classical plays offer more flexibility to alter meaning and themes based on the artistic vision of the director.  This genre is generally stereotyped as theatre that only appeals to older people and those of higher intelligence.  What is wrongly assumed of classical theatre is that it is accused of being outdated.  For example, the language of Shakespeare has been adapted to hundreds of different versions altering time, space and even the genre of comedy and tragedy itself.  In the terms of Shakespeare, the Bard can be adapted to appeal to many different types of audience to the general family friendly style of theatre to the more mature content that requires a different audience for viewing.  Does this make Shakespeare the perfect playwright and the perfect style of theatre that could appeal to all different kinds of audiences?  Maybe.  Maybe not.  This is because there are audience members out there who will have the inability to comprehend Elizabethan English, whether it’s stemmed from early exposure to Shakespeare that proved too difficult to comprehend at the time, or the audience member will assume that they will be bored because it is “Shakespeare.”

There is also greater risk in producing work such as this because of the older language and if the director and actors do not have a good understanding of the text, the meaning can be lost and all efforts to show the work would be in vain.  The acting styles of the actors who participate in this genre of theatre are often challenged with different acting styles.  Edward Gordon Craig discusses the actor’s real role in the theatre, “Acting is not an art […] Art arrives only by design.  Therefore in order to make any work of art it is clear we may only work in those materials with which we can calculate.  Man is not one of these materials” (Craig 393).  The audience would be lost because if the actors don’t understand what they are saying, the audience will not understand either.  This may require a separation of emotion and physical being within the actor in order to communicate the play effectively.  If emotion took over the best of the actor, the text would most likely be lost.  Denis Diderot poses the question of the technique of acting that relies solely on emotion, “If the actor were overcome by feeling, how could he play the same part twice running with the same spirit and success?  Full of fire at the first performance, he would be worn out and cold as marble at the third” (Diderot 198).  The technique of the actor in all three of the genres will alter and change based on the material that they are working on.

The third genre that is presented is the more abstract kind of theatre.  This is theatre that may not follow the social norms or structure of creating a play.  It may include cross-gendered characters, non-linear plot, and complex language to comprehend.  This type of theatre could be stereotypically placed into the parameter that it is only meant for theatre people, scholars, critics, artists, etc.  This type of theatre could be meant to educate, and to hold a mirror (or a fun mirror in some cases) to society and show the audience the flaws of our world.  Abstract, new works, performance art, etc. challenges the audience to think critically at what they are viewing and the theatre has become more of an educational environment that wants the audience to walk away changed.  The acting styles of the actors who participate in this genre of theatre are often challenged with different acting styles.  The actor’s role in the theatre is not as tangible as a set design or a costume piece.  In terms of the different genres of the theatre, the actors are important in the communication of the story.  Craig believed in the separation of emotion and focusing on the movement of the actor to create consistency in the role.  Craig describes, “Do away with the actor, and you do away with the means by which a debased stage-realism is produced and flourishes.  No longer would there be a living figure in which the weakness and tremors of the flesh were perceptible” (Craig 396).  Outsiders can also view this style of theatre as self-indulgent pieces of work that closes the audience off from the artist who is creating.  Diderot talks about the differences between art for the self and art for the audience,

“Is it at the moment when you have just lost your friend or your mistress that you will begin composing a poem on her death?  No!  woe to him who at such a moment delights in his talent.  It is when the storm of sorrow is over, when the extreme of sensibility is dulled, when the event is far behind us, when the soul is cal, that one remembers one’s eclipsed happiness, that one is capable of appreciating one’s loss…”(Diderot 201).

What Diderot means by this statement is that the artist should be human and feel the feelings of loss, hurt and grief.  It is only after the process is over is when the artist can objectively create art.

A Dramatic Conversation Between the Three Genres: A Short Play by Alex Matsuo

MICKEY:  People will pay big money to see my shows!

WILL:  Yes, but will the audience learn anything from seeing your performances?  With all your glitter, light, smoke and mirrors?  They will be taken away to a different world that will teach nothing but how to reflect lights and make people fly around.

 MICKEY:  But I make people feel good! I take them away from their rough workdays and I keep the kids quiet for three hours.  It’s like having a baby sitter and the parents are sitting right next to their child.

FOUNDLING FATHER:  Both of you are wrong!  I present the audience with unique and different theatrical circumstances that are separate from the social norm.  I ask the audience to think about what they are seeing on stage.  I am challenging their intellectual minds and I have a message to send and a story to tell.

 MICKEY:  But can you take a ten-year-old child to a Churchill play?

 FOUNDLING FATHER:  Well, I suppose you will have to leave the kids at home.  But think of the knowledge that these people will embark –

WILL:  I may have a difficult language to understand, but if the actor is a good actor, then there is no problem of comprehension.  William Shakespeare is being taught to children at a younger age all the time and they seem to understand the storyline.

MICKEY:  My style of theatre doesn’t take much intelligence to be enjoyed.  The audience doesn’t need to be asked to think about what they are seeing on stage.  Especially the young people.  After dealing with school and work all day, the last thing they want is to be lectured about some tragic flaws about themselves.

FOUNDLING FATHER:  And that’s why you make so much money.

MICKEY:  Exactly!

WILL:  And your money helps pay for our theatre.

FOUNDLING FATHER:  Using other people’s money to fund my visions?  I like that.

MICKEY:  And I suppose you bring in other types of people who might see my theatre as shallow and mundane with flashy lights.

WILL:  I suppose, in some complex way…we all need each other in some sort.

 FOUNDLING FATHER:  But wait, there is another type of theatre we didn’t include in this conversation.  They’re a bit more risqué and violent so to speak.

WILL:  Ah…I know of whom you are talking about.  Should we even invite them to this conversation?

Fin.

There is the type of theatrical performance that many do not see as theatre.  This is the question and argument that I present to you, the reader.  There is a style of performance where the viewers pay for a ticket, and they sit in an audience.  The stage has a curtain, props, lighting, and blocking.  But the content of this show is controversial.  There are a few controversial styles of performance where onlookers can say that this genre or style is not theatre.  The styles include live sex shows, strippers and even animal slaughter.  An Elizabethan form of entertainment, called bear baiting, was often a popular bloody event at the Globe theatre that occurred when Shakespeare’s plays were not running.  A bear would be chained and tied down while a pack of dogs were released and the entertainment of the event would be to see who would survive.  Bears would sometimes survive and go on to participate in bear-baiting several more times in their lives.  The practice is even mentioned in Shakespeare’s The Merry Wives of Windsor.

Slender: […] Why do your
dogs bark so? be there bears i’ the town?

Anne Page: I think there are, sir; I heard them talked of.

Slender:  I love the sport well but I shall as soon quarrel at
it as any man in England. You are afraid, if you see
the bear loose, are you not?

Anne Page:  Ay, indeed, sir.

Slender:  That’s meat and drink to me, now. I have seen
Sackerson loose twenty times, and have taken him by
the chain; but, I warrant you, the women have so
cried and shrieked at it, that it passed: but women,
indeed, cannot abide ’em; they are very ill-favored
rough things. –Act I, Scene I

Events such as these at first glance would not be classified as theatre.  But unfortunately for most, there will be a person out there who will find meaning in animal sacrifice being portrayed on stage.  Whether to classify any of these styles as theatre is a topic that many will be ready to argue.  The type of audience that these events attract are stereotypically individuals who are in the lowest class of people.  But there are people of higher class that get some sort of meaning from presentations such as these.  The technology of theatre (sets, lights, props, and costumes) is utilized to create a presentation.  After careful thought, would the current reader think that this is theatre?

Realistically speaking, plays such as these would not be filling houses of the thousands, depending on the playwright and who is starring in the play would also affect ticket sales, but in the realistic world of community and regional theatres, these works would not be paying for the season’s budget.  Between these three genres that I have discussed, although they are all different, in the end they all need each other.  The “Disneyfied” theatre will bring in the money and build the budgets necessary to do the classical and abstract pieces.  These three genres need each other in order for the other to survive.  The “Disneyfied” theatre could quite possibly spark the interest of theatre to a young audience member.  Inspiration has to come from somewhere and starting small would be the best way to weed out those who do only enjoy the surfaced productions with the smoke and mirrors.

When it comes to the question of meaning, in retrospective there will be fans of each genre ready to criticize the other two for having pointless life spans on stage.  But what needs to be understood is that there is not one universal style of theatre that will appeal to every person who goes to the theatre.  The job of the theatre is to entertain, educate, and make the audience question and criticize.  But there are audience members who might only want to be entertained.  And there may be scholars who want to visit the theatre solely on the purpose of being intellectually challenged.  To sum this theory up into a single sentence, not all audiences are the same.  There needs to be a wide variety of theatre out there in existence in order to keep theatre alive and thriving.

Works Cited

Brecht, Bertolt. “The Modern Theatre Is the Epic Theatre.” Theatre, Theory, Theatre: The Major Critical Texts from Aristotle and Zeami to Soyinka and Havel. By Daniel Charles Gerould. New York: Applause Theatre & Cinema, 2000. 446-53. Print.

Craig, Edward Gordon. “The Actor and the Übermarionette.” Theatre, Theory, Theatre: The Major Critical Texts from Aristotle and Zeami to Soyinka and Havel. By Daniel Charles Gerould. New York: Applause Theatre & Cinema, 2000. 393-98. Print.

Diderot, Denis. “Conversations on The Natural Son & The Paradox of Acting.” Theatre, Theory, Theatre: The Major Critical Texts from Aristotle and Zeami to Soyinka and Havel. By Daniel Charles Gerould. New York: Applause Theatre & Cinema, 2000. 191-201. Print.

Fisher, James. “The Eugene O’Neill Newsletter.” EOneill.com: An Electronic Eugene O’Neill Archive. Web. 01 Dec. 2010. <http://www.eoneill.com/library/newsletter/x-1/x-1f.htm>.

Lebowitz, Naomi. “Steven’s PAISANT CHRONICLE.” Explicator 61.3 (2003): 160. Academic Search Premier. EBSCO. Web. 2 Dec. 2010.

The Idea of the “Working” Artist

Alex Matsuo

I have been very blessed in the fact that I am making income from my passion.  However, there was a time where I did have to work a job that I didn’t very much care for, but it supported my passion so that I could do what I love to do.  I’m extremely lucky right now.  My job doesn’t feel like a job.  But will it last forever?  Of course not.

I am not one to turn down an opportunity if it comes my way, especially if it’s a project that I’m passionate about.  I know that there will be times where I will make no money from theatre and I’ll have to live like a starving artist.

And there will be times where I will have no opportunities in the theatre.  So what does the artist do about it?  Sit at home and wait for the next job?  I say nay to that.  If I’m not working on something, I’ll create my own.  I’ll write a play, look into producing something, sing at an open mic night, etc.  I always want to be working on something and tapping into my creative side.

What I’m saying to my fellow artists is, if you find yourself not getting work…create your own.  It will be a rewarding experience.  🙂

Yotsuya Kaidan and Japanese Ghosts

Alex Matsuo

I will start off by saying that the Japanese people really know how to tell a good ghost story.  Merely listening to a Japanese ghost story sends shivers down my spine and makes the hair on the back of my neck raise on end.  Being a quarter Japanese, I’ve had a fascination with this part of my heritage, and I’ve been wanting to learn more about the Japanese culture.  I’ve decided that for my next project, I’d like to adapt a popular Japanese ghost story for the stage in a contemporary Western theatre style, but also pay homage to the kabuki style in which it originated.  I love kabuki theatre as a whole.  I can’t really explain why except that I love the artistic form and how it communicates character and story on stage.

If you need a visual on “kabuki 101”, here is a handy YouTube video:

While on my journey into looking into more kabuki plays, I ran into this Japanese horror story by Tsuruya Nanboku IV, written in 1825, called Yotsuya Kaidan.  He tells the tragic story of Oiwa and Tamiya lemon.  This is my attempt for a brief summary, without revealing too much (and depending on which version you read), lemon and Oiwa are married.  lemon is unsatisfied with his life with Oiwa and their baby.  Oume, another woman, is in love with lemon.  lemon desires the wealth of Oume and wants to marry her instead. To get Oiwa out of the picture, she (or lemon depending on the version) sends a disfigurement cream to Oiwa, which disfigures half of her face and makes her hair fall out.  lemon decides to leave Oiwa and forces a masseur named Takuetsu to rape Oiwa so that he has a legal reason to divorce Oiwa and marry Oume.  Oiwa tries to fend Takuetsu off with a sword and accidentally punctures her own throat and dies, cursing lemon’s name.  In other versions, lemon gives the posion to Oiwa, but not enough to kill her and the poison slowly kills Oiwa in a violently gruesome way.  Her face becomes disfigured, her hair falls out, her eye droops and in her madness, falls on one of lemon’s swords.  lemon returns home, and dumps his wife’s body in the river and the death is deemed a suicide.

lemon and Oume marry.  Oiwa comes back and haunts lemon and makes him lose his mind and a lot of people are brutally murdered.  Throughout the rest of the play, Oiwa haunts lemon with her demonic laugh.  In life, Oiwa was a model woman of nobility, humility and virtue.  But in death, she is a vengeful spirit known as an onryō.  Why is this story still so popular today? At the time of its production, the Bunsei period of a time of repressed women and there was tension all around.  Oiwa was a character that the audience could relate to in terms of being out of control and unable to have any power in their circumstances.  Also, the play consisted of special affects that audiences had never seen before.  Disfiguring makeup and hair falling out along with violence was a good combination for a well attended play.  Even after Nanboku died, Yotsuya Kaidan remains popular today with numerous adaptations, including film.  There is even a curse associated with this story.  And the curse is what attracts me to this impending project I have brought upon myself.  This story also brings me to think of the Greek tragedy, Medea, which is one of my favorite pieces of classical work.

The curse is associated with bad luck, injuries and death.  Much like the curse of Macbeth, the curse Yotsuya Kaidan was blamed for the death of an actress, stage lights falling and injuring actors, deaths of directors, etc.  In order to avoid the curse, one must visit Oiwa’s grave and pay their respects.  I know what you’re thinking, “Wait a minute, this is a true story?”  To answer simply; yes and no.  Yotsuya Kaidan is based on two murders that took place in the 1600’s.  There is a grave that is believed to hold the remains of Oiwa, whose death is marked as February 22, 1636.  If you visit her grave out of curiosity, it is said that your right eye will begin to droop just like Oiwa’s did from the poison.  

Now, Nanboku has a knowledge of paranormal folklore in Japanese culture.  He wrote Oiwa as an onryō.  An onryō is a spirit that seeks vengeance.  Onryō spirits mainly consist of women (especially in kabuki theatre) who are powerless in the physical living world, but after they die, they become powerful.  Onryōs are revenge spirits to right the wrongs that happened while they were alive.  The traditional of the Japanese spirit world consists of the world of the living and the world of the dead.  I’m still fresh in my research, but from my understanding thus far; when you die, you go to Yomi, which is an underworld guarded by horrifying spirits and you rot for eternity.  In contrast to Yomi, Takamagahara is the shinto view of heaven.  I’ll elaborate more on another posting more dedicated to Japanese mythology because now I’m starting to ramble.  Where was I?  Oh yes.  An onryō becomes so powerful that they can cross the boundaries between the two worlds.  

What will my adaptation be like?  As of right now, I’m just writing.  I’m currently looking for the earlier translation of this piece that I can find since I don’t speak Japanese and reading the original would be a moot point.  It’s still in the baby stages.  Hopefully I will have a tangible piece of work ready for readings by spring 2012.

I will close this blog with an anime adaptation of Yotsuya Kaidan that explains the curse in full detail and presents the conclusion of the story as well.  It’s a bit graphic and might scare you in the end.  The reason why I’m including this video is because it makes two strong statements.  Nanboku begs Oiwa to stop the curse and instead put the curse upon him since he is the one who created the story.  And finally, Nanboku states the Yotsuya Kaidan is cursed because people want it to be cursed.  It’s amazing how powerful thought and beliefs can be.  Thanks for reading!

My Experience in Haunted Gettysburg

Alex Matsuo

This weekend, I was fortunate enough to attend a field trip to Gettysburg, hosted by the Paranormal Research Society.  It was a weekend of much learning about experiencing activity in one of the most haunted places in the United States.  The last time I was in Gettysburg was in the year 2000 for my eighth grade trip.  So I was excited to go back to this historical landmark and hopefully have some paranormal experiences and investigate.

This trip also marked the first time I’ve participated in the Ganzfeld experiment.  For the last few months, I’ve been doing research to learn more about it and send anything I find to Sergey at PRS.  While I was excited to finally be able to participate, I was also a tad nervous.  I didn’t just do it once.  I participated four times.  My last Ganzfeld session consisted me being a sender, which I will go into in a moment.

Jennie Wade House – For those of you who don’t know, Jennie Wade was the only citizen of Gettysburg who was killed during the battle.  The house where she was shot is still preserved with the actual bullet holes still present and her wooden bread board hanging next to the stove.  This was where I did the Ganzfeld experiment the first time.  Adam Sedlock briefed me on what was going to happen and I put on the white shades, the headphones and faced the red light.  I heard banging during the experience, heard voices, felt like someone was walking around me, felt something play with my hair and I felt like I was in the presence of chaos.

Tillie Pierce House – This was where I participated in the Ganzfeld Experiment three more times.  The second time I participated, there were two people involved this time.  One being a “sender” of an image and the other being a “receiver” wearing the shades, headphones and facing the red light.  While I didn’t receive an image, I felt an overwhelming sense of sadness afterward.  After the first two experiences, I was hesitant to participate again and I initially declined a third opportunity to do it again.  However, after making contact with a presence in the house, I was asked to do the Ganzfeld experiment again.  This time, knowing what I was looking for, I agreed.  It was a positive and enriching experience.  The fourth time I did it, I was the sender along with another person.  I have to say, it was harder being a sender than it was to be the receiver.

I believe that’s as much as I can go into since this was an experiment conducted by PRS.  It was overall a great experience.  I have many more stories from Gettysburg, and I’m still in the process of putting them into words.  I must say that it is amazing how much the battle impacted Gettysburg and permanently imprinted a presence in that town.

Do Spirits “Notice” You?

Alex Matsuo

I received a great question on the Facebook page from Sara D., who asked,

From my own personal research, I have found many share the view that by actively participating in the paranormal (ie: investigating, ganzfeld experiment) or the occult (ie seances, ouija boards) you open yourself up more spiritually and make it easier for spirits to “notice” you. Others say that it doesn’t happen and you shouldn’t worry about it. So, what is it? Be concerned or not?

What is my answer to this?  Yes.  there should be a concern and a respect for these methods and devices because they have the potential to be powerful tools.  First I will address investigating.  Investigating the paranormal is entering into a new lifestyle in general.  Your awareness of the unknown is heightened.  Now are spirits really following you, or are you senses heightened to the point where anything that moves is a shadow/ghost/spirit?  You know it’s there, and I know for me, I seem to keep an extra eye open and I notice my surroundings in greater detail than I did before I began investigating.  I believe that when you start investigating, especially going against more malevolent beings, it is possible that they will notice you and know who you are.  When you approach an investigation and you ask for communication with spirits, they know who you are.  I know investigators (including myself) who do protection rituals and make it very clear that they cannot harm me or follow me.

Now the Ganzfeld Experiment…such a fascinating element of parapsychology.  Does the Ganzfeld Experiment open yourself up to experience things you couldn’t in your everyday life?  I believe so and no.  Does it permanently leave you vulnerable to psychic and spiritual phenomenon?  It has the potential.  Does participating in this leave a permanent bullseye for any spirit to notice you and possibly go after you?  I doubt it, but I would certainly love to talk to someone about it who knows more than I do

Now when it comes to things like seances and ouija boards, that is another ballgame.  Or is it?  When investigating, you are asking for communication.  And with seances and ouija boards you are requesting communication.  It’s a fine line, but I believe there is a difference.  Seances come in many forms.  Seance comes from the French term, “sitting” or “seat” and rose in popularity when Spiritualism broke out.  There is something to be said sitting in a circle with other people trying to communicate with spirits, especially through a medium.  And with ouija boards, I have a great respect for them but I would probably never use one.  I’ve heard and experienced too many negative things tied with a ouija board, especially when it comes to the disposal of one (always bury, never burn).  Ouija boards are typically associated with bringing in an inhuman spirit.  What else is funny is that ouija boards are sold in toy stores and made by Milton Bradley.  There are also ouija board necklaces being sold.  I was actually offended when I saw this.  Paranormal investigating or “ghost hunting” is already seen as a novelty as it is.  Technically you don’t even need to buy a ouija board, you can draw a board on a piece of paper or napkin and go from there.  It’s that simple.  Ouija boards are made by toy companies, what happened to the respect of the possibility that these things can do potential harm? Wearing a necklace with a ouija board shouldn’t be a fashion accessory or seen as cute.  That could open you up for potentially negative activity as well.

Is there a safe way to use a ouija board?  I’m sure.  But you need protection which leads me into my next point.  Protecting yourself is very important.  There is a fine line between not protecting yourself and building a wall so thick that you cut yourself off from any activity.  Where do we draw the line?  It’s hard to distinguish.

In closing, when you decide to investigate the paranormal, you need to make sure you do what you can to stay safe while still allowing yourself to experience activity (at least for me, for purposes of collecting evidence and documentation).  And protecting yourself not only during an investigation but during your normal everyday life.  I started investigating when I was 14.  Looking back, it was probably not the safest thing to do, especially investigating solo as a teen with only the internet as my guide.  But it taught me so much about myself, the paranormal and how to protect myself and conduct myself on an investigation.  I’m still not an expert.  I read as much as I can and watch other teams as they do investigations.  What I want to close this post with, is that you should always be in the pursuit of knowledge.  Keep reading, keep watching, and never stop learning.

Reading Real Books

Alex Matsuo

I have yet to purchase a Kindle or anything that would force me to read from a screen.  There is something about holding a book in your hand, touching the pages, holding the book at weird angles in the pursuit of comfort, the smell of old books…the list goes on.

I’m sure eventually I will succumb to the fast pace of technology and buy a Kindle.  A good example would be if I were traveling for a long period of time and I didn’t want to carry a million books in my bag.  That makes sense and is logical.  But with the recent closure of Borders, I’ve been thinking, is this the downfall of books as we know it?  I certainly hope not.  Only because technology will fail us eventually and we won’t have a resource for some of the world’s greatest literature.  Plus, Kindle prices are that much different from buying the tangible book so…I don’t know…buy the actual book?

I’m a traditionalist I suppose.  I don’t want to cross over into the Kindle world yet.  I want to hang on to my paperback and hardcover books, curl up with a cup of tea, wrapped in blankets and read the night away.

Actor, Playwright, Director, Researcher…Superhero

Alex Matsuo

Well, not really.  I just seem to have a lot of my plate but for no reason.  It is self-inflicted.

You know you’re a nerd when you go to the library and you have to refill the meter twice and pray that you don’t get a ticket for going over the 1-hour parking limit.  I checked out some books for the group project for the introduction to the paranormal class I took from Ryan Buell.  I’m also going to be taking his demonology course in October, so I checked out some books to help myself prepare for the next few months.

I also went to Borders and found some really interesting books on Shakespeare.  Ironically, I came up with my own research topic for Shakespeare-related materials and I got the idea while working on my group project for Ryan’s class.  I’ve decided that I’m going to read Will’s text and see how many times ghosts appear and take note of anything paranormal in his plays.  I’m a bit excited, so I’m going to go ahead and get started on it…I’m not sure if it would be a good dissertation topic, but then again I’ll never know.

Speaking of dissertation…

I’m trying to decide whether the PhD or the MFA route is right for me at this moment.  Technically, I can go for both at different times of my life.  But I found an MFA program that fits me where I am right now.  The application process is a lot of work, but I think it’s manageable.  It’s at Goddard College and it’s a low-residence MFA program so that you can focus on your own creative work and mold your own program.

Anyway, I’m off to the library again.  Adios!

Suzan-Lori Parks

Alex Matsuo

One of my favorite quotes is, “You’re only yourself when no ones watching!” Well, who said it? I’ve met celebrities, well-knowns, etc.  I’ve never really been star struck, maybe the occasional, “Oh wow…that’s Alan Rickman teaching me how to be an actor” (true story).  But never really been “star struck”.

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mv2ahmcZdxM]

Well, that changed for me this year.  Her name?  Suzan-Lori Parks.  She has been a source of inspiration for me for a few years now.  I had two opportunities to see Suzan-Lori Parks in person this year.  The first time was during her “Watch Me Work” session in NYC and the second time was when she came to SDSU and spoke.  And every time I saw her, I got so excited, giddy and overwhelmed.  I remembered my eyes stinging as if my eyes were welling up with happy tears.  Okay, I’ll admit it, I got so excited I started crying a tad.  I even had the chance to take her photos…but until I have permission to release them…they shall remain hidden.  My camera has captured true genius.  I also had one of my biggest breakthroughs in her presence during her “Watch Me Work” session and I had the chance to talk to her about Japanese Eyes/American Heart.  She loved the idea, the topic and my passion for it.  When I received encouragement from her, it was my confirmation.

If you don’t know who Suzan-Lori Parks is, stop.  Google, check out The America Play or Topdog/Underdog, know who she is.  Especially if you’re a theatre person.  She is brilliant.  So brilliant and a genius.  Aside from family members, if you ask me who is my biggest inspiration and who has influenced me into the artist I am today, I will say Suzan-Lori Parks.

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fhnGEk5eODE]

Do You Know Any Japanese?

Alex Matsuo

There was a lot of excitement the past few days…the excitement is over and now it’s back to business.  Whenever I have to explain my last name, people usually will ask me if I know any Japanese.  I know very little.  If I got off a plane in Tokyo tomorrow, I’d have the look of confusion and of course would not be able to get around without a translator.  But the knowledge of the language and culture did not come from my Grandpa.  It came from my curiosity to learn about my Grandpa’s culture, but only the Japanese part and not the Hawaiian part.  He was born and raised in Hawaii so it was a bit mixed.  My great-grandfather came to Hawaii from Japan while my great-grandmother was born in Hawaii.  People will often look at me with some disappointment that I don’t know more.  A part of me would want to shout from the rooftops and say, “It’s not my fault!”  But really…does it matter?  Why should I let this question bug me so much?

This is yet another question/issue/dilemma that I address in Japanese Eyes/American Heart.  One of the characters has a line that says,

“He was Japanese in a time and place where it was not okay.  Even if you completely Americanized yourself, you were still watched, suspected, never to be trusted.“ -(Japanese Eyes/American Heart, Act I, Scene 4)

And that’s why I don’t know any Japanese.

When I was younger, I attempted to learn from a Japanese singer named Seiji Tanaka because he made covers of American songs.  It’s kind of amusing actually…his rendition of “Saturday Night” is my favorite…and I’ll end on a lighter note for this short posting:

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7AyfyWREFFY]

BTW, I’m accepting artwork submissions for the play’s poster.  If you saw the first staged reading and wanted to make some artwork, contact me directly.  A few people talked to me after the first staged reading and hopefully someone is still interested.

Random Side Note:  I’ve just realized that I’ve met and worked with more well-known British actors than American actors.  I wish the United States had the same vibe as British theatre…I remember seeing my Shakespeare teacher from BADA playing a major role in “Vanity Fair”.  I’m tempted to send JE/AH across the pond and see what feedback I get since I have the connections.