The Performance of Ghost Hunting Part I

This is a two-part post about my studies into the relationship between performance and the act of ghost hunting.

A performance is typically defined as an event where there is someone who is presenting something, and there are a group of people observing. This definition of performance is not limited to only theatres or television and movies. A performance can take place at nearly any time of day at any kind of location. Performances can happen at school with the popular crowd, and they can happen at ghost hunts. Scholars have written thousands of book on performance studies and there are even degrees dedicated to the discipline. As a society that is ever growing and changing on a regular basis, there are so many different types of performances out there that appease almost every person out there. From traditional musicals that warm the heart, to the heart-wrenching dramas that influence someone to call their mother to tell them they love her, to the soul shattering avant-garde performance that makes you analyze what it means to be human….performance is an essential part of our existence that is necessary in order for us to survive and thrive.

Before we dive into the performance of ghost hunting, let us take a moment to consider the relationship between performance and spirituality. The earliest roots in theatre lie in ancient Greece in something called, “ritual reenactment”. Back before theatre and performance was established, the ancient Greeks wanted to honor the gods by telling stories of their greatness. This initially began as “oral tradition” where someone would dramatically tell stories of the gods, with an audience watching. The audience would then become performers themselves and spreading the stories around like wildfire. With ritual reenactment, these early performances including singing hymns and performing some kind of movement.

To keep this along the lines of being the abridged version, the villages and tribes began to compete with each other by adding costumes, live music, and written texts in their performances for the gods. One could argue that the original audiences were the gods, and the transition from performing for them to performing to fellow humans was one of the breakthrough moments in the creation of live theatre. Overall, theatre is a very spiritual experience, which the philosopher Aristotle argued that it was needed for the purposes of catharsis, meaning the purging of emotions. If you have ever cried during a movie, you had a cathartic experience. Catharsis was seen as a necessity for cleansing the soul.

With the thought in mind that theatre was originally intended to be spiritual and for the gods as a gift, is it a surprise that there are rumors about theatres being haunted in the first place. Some of my favorite cliché ghost stories come from the urban legend of haunted theatres from the spurned woman in white who lost her chance to be on the stage to the Macbeth curse causing shenanigans in each production, there is a strong connection there. Until the media came into existence with television and film, theatre was the vehicle for expressing society’s belief in the paranormal, and you can watch that belief evolve over time by just analyzing the plays from each time period.

I suppose that the title of this article can be misleading, as it is not an article on how to perform a paranormal investigation or ghost hunt, there are enough of those books out there on the market. Instead, it is a venture into a theory that theatre people, whether they are actors, tenant, directors, dancers, etc. they are inadvertently capturing the attention of the ghosts and causing a performance from both the living and the dead. Artistic people are interesting enough on their own, and I would not be surprised if a ghost chose to attempt communication with an artistic person over someone whose not. I will say that artists are very open-minded to the world around. Could they be lifting a psychic wall around them and making them more vulnerable to having some sort of communication with the other side? If you were dead, and you couldn’t find a way to communicate with the living, and you found someone who could hear you, wouldn’t you do whatever you could muster up to catch their attention? The answer is probably yes. But this isn’t a performance. That is the lost seeking out a solution. When the situation is reversed, and there is someone trying to communicate with a deceased person, the ghost isn’t able to communicate in the way that they used to in life, so they have to pull out the dramatic displays in order to get their point across. I would imagine that this is an extremely frustrating endeavor.

The most obvious example of performances in ghost hunting is in paranormal reality shows that became increasingly popular in the early 21st century. It is a far cry from ritual reenactment and the once cathartic experience that was the performance space. I think perhaps the reason why for this widespread popularity was the fact that the paranormal is an unknown area of knowledge. You can’t get a college degree in paranormal studies and many people who do come forward with experiences in the public eye are portrayed as being insane and not to be taken seriously. At the end of the day, these production companies need to make money. You make money by drawing in an audience, and you keep that audience by continuing to make your show entertaining. I won’t say that the “paratainment” business has sullied the investigation field, but instead, has brought exposure to the paranormal and hopefully making people more open-minded about the existence of ghosts. In the last ten years, there has also been a dramatic rise in the number of ghost tours at numerous haunted locations, where a group of people will go ghost hunting for a night while locked in a building with a guide. The paranormal reached a new height when it came to monetizing the potential interactions with the dead, which many people pay big money for. But because the factor of money is now included in the experience, I have to wonder if along with tickets being paid, if there was an expectation of goods to be delivered (such as a paranormal experience). In turn, does this turn ghosts into entertainers? And if so, what does this mean for the ghosts at the Tenth should Jeff decide to move forward with the guided ghost tours?

I would like to say that my investigations and research into the building have not subjected the ghosts into being put into a situation where they are being asked to perform tricks, since I don’t expect them to ever perform for me. If they choose not to communicate, while I may be disappointed, I acknowledge that it is their right to not talk. But another researcher from the outside looking in may have a different opinion. Where is that fine line between requesting communication and asking the ghosts to essentially perform tricks? I suppose that it is all in the eye of the beholder and the ghosts that are being placed in that situation. If you were to ask me what my long-term goal was for the Tenth, it would be that someday the most prestigious researchers in the paranormal and psychic phenomenon visit the Tenth. It would be great to be able to secure the building for a weekend (at the very least) and let these researchers loose in the building and see what comes of it.

Performers, in terms of actors, dancers, musicians, and artists, seem to be completely different people compared to business professionals or those who don’t consider themselves to be artistically minded. For example, let us go back to the Ganzfeld experiment, which is the sensory deprivation experiment that leads to the altered state of consciousness. There was a study conducted in 1992 where the American Society for Psychical Research used twenty of the most gifted students from the Julliard School in New York City and put them through the sender-receiver experiment. The results were extraordinary because there was a success rate of 50%, which was double the success expectation rate. The facilitators of the experiment, Charles Honorton and Marilyn Schlitz then used eight musicians for the remainder of the experiment. Six out of the eight students either had direct hits or a 75% success rate. Again, these are extraordinary results. The theory behind this success rate was due to the participants; especially the musicians have a dissociated state of mind. Very much like meditation, being dissociated is very much like the feeling of being on autopilot and disconnecting from the outside word. According to John G. Kruth, the executive director of the Rhine Research Center, jazz musicians who often improvise their music will go into this state as they play, channeling the environment around them as they make up their own tune. What would happen if we allowed a bunch of actors to go in and ghost hunt for a night? What kind of results would come up from the night? If we go by the results of the study of the Julliard students and the Ganzfeld experiment, it seems as though there could be potential of a productive interaction with the ghosts.

Ready for more? Here’s Part II.

Responsibility

Backstage during Wild Party
Backstage during Wild Party

Well, first of all: Shame on me. It’s been 5 months since I’ve updated this blog. But I’m happy that it’s still getting a ton of traffic for my Shakespeare posts (now I know what the audience really wants).

Anyway, now to catch you all up to my life as I know it thus far. Wild Party opened and closed, and it was a great show to be a part of. I made some wonderful new friends and connections in the Raleigh theatre community. I also decided to start doing a podcast for the theatre community in the Triangle area. I’ve been slowly collecting interviews and I hope to debut the podcast “Triangle On Stage” in August.

Speaking of shows, I’m a part of the cast of Xanadu at North Raleigh Arts and Creative Theatre and will be playing in September. If you’ve ever seen the original god-awful movie with Olivia Newton-John, you probably know that the musical is all camp and overall just fun. I’m really excited to be a part of the show and so far the rehearsal process has been all smiles. Plus, I get to bust my skates out again!

So, let’s get to business. I’ve gone through a whirlwind of a year since moving to Raleigh on 10502352_10152530408090520_5373058760609509633_nJune 1st, 2013. My life has changed in many unexpected ways. While initially it may have seemed like the events of last year were the worse thing to have ever happened to me, looking back…I feel like I might now understand what the Universe (or God) was trying to do.

Anyway, I’ve really been working on “me”, specifically when it comes to forgiving myself and taking responsibility for my actions of basically my entire life. I had a wise friend who gave me a heart to heart, because even after things calmed down, I still wasn’t all that happy. This friend told me that I needed to start taking responsibility for my actions in why I wasn’t happy. Of course, hearing this was at first very startling and doesn’t seem like the right thing to say to someone who was having an emotionally difficult time. But the reason being is that, I was living like a victim. And thus, it was a perspective that didn’t give me any control over my life. My life, my choices, etc. are all related to where I am exactly now. The important thing I needed to do was to take responsibility for my actions that I had control over, and then forgive myself. Interestingly enough, once I started forgiving myself, it was easier to start forgiving others.

The other part of this was also acknowledging where I didn’t have control, and to let certain things go, and to not continuously revisit the painful chapters. In the case of my stalker, it was a time where I let him make me feel like I was powerless and I lived in fear for several months before finally taking him to court to get the restraining order, which was granted because he waived his right to a hearing and consented to my testimony in court. I cried when that happened…it made me reconsider my relationship with God because I felt as though He finally threw me a bone. I would never wish what I went through with my stalker on my worst enemy. It was a frightening and awful experience that still leaves me looking over my shoulder all the time.

Alex MatsuoWhen I look at the people who wronged me today, I just feel sad for them and my heart goes out to them. I feel sad for the people who still hold grudges and post passive-aggressive messages knowing that it will do nothing to head towards a resolution. But, these are all doors that I’m in the process of closing. Looking back just leads to reopening those wounds and revisiting the pain on a regular basis, and I can’t do that to myself anymore. Do I hope for a resolution in the future? Of course. But I’m not going to tear myself apart anymore because it’s not happening.

And that’s taking responsibility by taking care of myself, and for the first time ever, doing things to help place myself on the road to genuine happiness. I have a job that I love, I have wonderful friends that I’ve made since moving here, I’m in a show and doing what I love, and I got the apartment of my dreams. I can’t really complain right now, but I also don’t want to count my chickens before they hatch because life always has that way of reminding you to appreciate the little things in life like having a roof over your head and food in your stomach. Basically, I’m enjoying life right now and not taking it for granted. Why?

Because it’s my responsibility to do so as a member of the human race.

The Real Doctor Faustus

Faustus summoning Mephostophilis
Faustus summoning Mephostophilis

The legends of brilliant men making pacts with the Devil in order to acquire their knowledge is a tale as old as time.  Theophilus the Penitent was one of the earliest legends, but a man from Germany would become more famous, and immortalized in many works such as Christopher Marlowe’s play, Doctor Faustus, and Goethe’s Faust, just to name a few.  The legend of Doctor Faustus served to show the consequences of one’s decision to commit themselves to evil, but also, it seems to me that it also showed the views of those who were rather brilliant so to speak, and that “obviously” someone must have made a pact with the Devil in order to be that intelligent.  Evidence also suggests that he was a “sodomite” and a “sorcerer” that found him to be banished from several of the towns he visited in his travels.

While Doctor Faustus remains a primarily German legend, this man, named John or Idealporträt_Joannes_FaustusGeorge Faustus was most likely an actual person who was an itinerant scholar or a fortune-teller of some sorts who was a well-traveled man.  Documents that have surfaced date his activities around 1507 until around 1540, and it is believed that he died not long before 1545.  Unfortunately, any historical accounts of the real Faustus do not paint a very favorable picture of him.  The first full account of Faustus was written by an anonymous Protestant and published in 1548 was the first to associate him with the supernatural and any possible pact with the Devil.  This text would be called, Historia von D. Iohan Fausten.  The German-text’s introduction called him “a conjuror and master of black magic” and someone who “sold himself” to the Devil, as well as claiming that the enclosed accounts were from the real diaries of Faustus during his travels.

Another portrait of Faustus circa 1480
Another portrait of Faustus circa 1480

Evidence of the cause of death of Doctor Faustus have been hard to come by. Allegedly, the real Doctor Faustus died a brutal death from an explosion from an alchemical experiment.  His body was terribly mutilated, which supported the idea that the Devil did indeed collect what was due.  However this was recorded by Wikipedia and I haven’t been able to find a strong source to be completely convinced.

Then an English translation called, The History of the Damnable Life and Deserved Death of Doctor Faustus, within five years after the German-text was released.  The author was only known as P.F., and while P.F. remained consistent in the translation, there is a very apparent branch off when Damnable Life includes details that are not included in the German text.  Because of these extra details being included in Marlowe’s Doctor Faustus, it is very likely that Marlowe used Damnable Life as his main source.  Whether he used the German-text is quite possible, but there isn’t enough evidence to confirm it since Damnable Life includes all the information from the German-text.

Hopefully, this has piqued some interest for you to explore more about the Faustus legend, and make the decision for yourself.  Do you think Doctor Faustus really consorted with the Devil?  Or was he the victim of ignorance?

Further Reading

Faust Legends Translated by D.L. Ashliman

Goethe’s Faust

The Faust Book (or Faustbuch)

Christopher Marlowe’s play, Doctor Faustus

If you want to obtain the original text for The History of the Damnable Life and Deserved Death of Doctor Faustus, go to your local library or university and inquire as to whether they have a partnership with Early English Books Online (EEBO).

Cambridge – The Source of Doctor Faustus

The Six Years After: Love, Live, and Remember

Six years ago today, I was in a car accident that almost killed me.  I was 19 at the time, just finished the fall semester of my sophomore year of college with horrible grades, and very emotional from an incident with my ex-boyfriend that evening.  Plans were made, he ditched the plans, and when I cried, he told me “Your tears don’t matter to me”.  I was crushed.  He was really the only reason why I was in that area in the first place (then come to find out he was wishing I would get hit by a car).  My friend Jenny invited me over to her place for New Year’s and with eyes full of tears and a broken heart, I got in my car and made my way toward her place.  I was driving onto the I-8 west from Montezuma Road in the rain.  My car hydroplaned, and I lost control.  I hit the railing and skidded into the railing over the road.  I got out of the car, a girl stopped and called my mom for me, and another man stopped and helped direct traffic.  I was in Jekyll & Hyde at the time, and we were in tech, so all my costumes, makeup, shoes, etc. were in the car.  I knew my car would have to be towed, so I opened the backseat (driver’s side) door and started to go through my things.  Then, I turned around and saw a car heading towards me.

The car headed towards me.  The car hit me.  I flew onto the hood of the car, rolled off the hood and I fell 25 feet down to the road below.  I landed on my hip and I laid there crying and screaming for help.  I remembered wiggling my toes to make sure I wasn’t paralyzed.  Toes moved.  Good.  I tasted blood in my mouth.  All my teeth there?  Yes.  Hair covering my face.  Arms around my head.  I couldn’t move.  My lower body burned.  Why couldn’t I move?  Why was I conscious this whole time?  I kept screaming and crying for help.  I heard a bunch of women rush to me.  Immediately, one of them asked if there was anyone that needed to be called and I said, “My mother” and I was able to give her my mother’s number.  The rest of the women laid their hands on me and started to pray for me.  The burning in my lower body eased a little.

I started to hear the ambulance sirens.  The wailing got louder and louder until finally, I heard the paramedics approach me.  They immediately asked me if I had been drinking.  I get it.  New Year’s Eve, girl falls off a freeway ramp.  I told them no.  Then I heard a spectator say that I was drunk.  Really?  Anyway.  The paramedic told me that they would have to turn me onto my back.  I said okay.  I didn’t anticipate the excruciating pain that followed.  I screamed.  I couldn’t take the pain.  Then, the paramedics used shears to cut my clothes off and another paramedic waited by with a blanket and covered me immediately.  As I was on my back, I saw the woman who hit me.  She was leaning over the guard rail, crying.  We locked eyes for a moment until I was carried onto the ambulance.  I heard my mother’s voice.  I couldn’t move my neck but I can’t forget the fear and pain in her voice as she told me she loved me.  I told her that I loved her too and to call my best friends at the time.  I needed support.

The trip to the hospital was a blur.  My blood pressure was so low that they couldn’t give me anything for the pain.  Every bump into the hospital hurt.  I remember the room.  It was so white.  The man laying next to me was covered in blood.  They had to put a shield between us and all I saw was red.  The doctors told me that they had to move me from the stretcher to the bed.  I started crying again because I knew of the pain that was to come.  I begged him to not move me.  My body was broken.  The doctor insisted that they would do the best they can to support the broken portion of my body.  As I cried and begged, a nurse put her hand on my head and held my hand with the other.  The crew counted to three.  I screamed again.  The pain was unbearable.  I saw my mother and Lizz, my best friend at the time, turn away as I screamed.  I remember everything was cloudy.  My blood pressure was so low, and the doctors were injecting things in me and telling me to stay with them.  Was I dying?  I looked over at the shield next to me and the man next to me was so still.  Was I in a room where people had died?  I looked back up to the ceiling.  Slowly, things became sharp again.  I heard muddled voices and eventually I closed my eyes.

I’m not sure if I died, but I saw things.  I saw things that I still can’t explain to this day.

I opened my eyes and I looked at the clock.  The neck brace was gone.  And there was a hospital volunteer cleaning the blood off my face.  I’ll never forget his name.  His name was Joe Apple.  As he was cleaning up the blood from my face, I looked at the clock again and it was 12:02am.  It was 2006 officially.  I looked at Joe and wished him a happy new year.  I was feeling much better, realizing that I was given pain medication finally.  Morphine is good stuff.  That evening, I had to get a catheter (not so fun), and I had to get compression socks put onto my legs.  I couldn’t walk.  I could feel my legs, but every attempt to move them was rewarded with awful pain.  The police came in and got a statement from me.  My nurse was wonderful.  She made me feel so safe and she sat and held my hand as I was crying.  I couldn’t be in my show anymore, I couldn’t walk, I couldn’t move in my bed.  Eventually, after being covered with numerous warm blankets, and being comforted by my nurse in the late hours, I fell asleep.  That night, I vertically sheared my pelvis, broke three vertebraes in my back, shattered my tailbone and lost a little chunk of my arm and gashed my forehead.  The next morning would being a six month road to recovery and transitioning back to normal life.  The road would include major surgery, living in a wheelchair, using a walker, months of physical therapy, and forming bonding friendships and relationships that would change my life forever.

As I look back on that night, six long years ago, I look at the person I am today.  While I was recovering at home, my friends came over every week to have movie night with me.  They didn’t mind taking me out and trekking my wheelchair in their trunk.  I truly believe that if my friends weren’t there, I probably wouldn’t have survived the road to recovery.  Every New Year’s Eve, I look back and think about how much worse this car accident could have been.  The traffic light on the street below where I landed, happen to be red at the time.  Otherwise, I could have been hit by another car after I landed, or worse, landed on a moving vehicle.  The angle I landed was weird.  I didn’t land on my head, even though I rolled off head first.  I didn’t land on my legs or my bottom.  I landed in a position that did the least amount of damage.  I’m grateful to be alive today and with all the “what-ifs” that continue to go through my head, I can only account for the fact that I’m alive, I can walk, run, skate, and dance.  I only experience residual hip pain on occasion, especially if it’s cold.  Besides a scar on my backside, if you met me today, you couldn’t tell what happened six years ago.

Then I think about the people I met that night; Joe Apple, the nurse, the girl who helped me in the first accident, the woman who called my mother for me, and the mysterious women who prayed over me.  I kept in brief touch with all but the mysterious women.  No one remembers their presence.  Not even the woman who called my mother.  But I know they were there.  I felt their hands on me.  I remember their voices and calming words.

As I close this reflection, I have to acknowledge the several people who were there for me through thick and thin while I was recovering; Amber, Lizz, Natasha, Lauren, Dante, Robby, Alex, Jenny, JJ, Dirk, Anneke, Shaun, Cory, Troy, Joe, Laura, Jordy, Leilani, Maria, John and if there was anyone I forgot, my sincerest apologies.  There were so many that helped me and were there for me.  I was overwhelmed by the support and I know God was watching over me not only the night of my accident, but also brought me wonderful people to be there for me during recovery.

And finally, my mother.  She was the biggest trooper in this whole situation.  She had to watch me, her daughter, suffer and nearly die while maintaining her own strength and her patience.  I wasn’t the easiest person to deal with.  I often got frustrated with my current state and took it out on her.  I cried daily, I felt so helpless and she was there for me.  I could never repay the commitment, love, and kindness she showed, as well as giving me a slap of reality when I got too dramatic and feeling sorry for myself.

The message I want to leave you with is to cherish your time and make the most out of your life and the most important of all…love.  Do everything with love and compassion.  Life is too short to focus on the negative and hatred.  Sometimes the most bitterest of people need love in their life and no one was brave enough to even attempt to show them love.  Also, if I have learned anything from the experience of my car accident, don’t wait to lose weight before you go to the spa, don’t wait until things “seem right” to take a chance.  Do it now.  You never know when life can change (or end) in an instant.  Live your life to the fullest.  Love the people around you and love the strangers in your life.  You never know what may happen in the future.  Be ready for anything to happen.  Bad things happen, but focus on your response and how you handle the bad times.

And finally, may the year 2012 be the year that all your dreams come true.

Do Spirits “Notice” You?

I received a great question on the Facebook page from Sara D., who asked,

From my own personal research, I have found many share the view that by actively participating in the paranormal (ie: investigating, ganzfeld experiment) or the occult (ie seances, ouija boards) you open yourself up more spiritually and make it easier for spirits to “notice” you. Others say that it doesn’t happen and you shouldn’t worry about it. So, what is it? Be concerned or not?

What is my answer to this?  Yes.  there should be a concern and a respect for these methods and devices because they have the potential to be powerful tools.  First I will address investigating.  Investigating the paranormal is entering into a new lifestyle in general.  Your awareness of the unknown is heightened.  Now are spirits really following you, or are you senses heightened to the point where anything that moves is a shadow/ghost/spirit?  You know it’s there, and I know for me, I seem to keep an extra eye open and I notice my surroundings in greater detail than I did before I began investigating.  I believe that when you start investigating, especially going against more malevolent beings, it is possible that they will notice you and know who you are.  When you approach an investigation and you ask for communication with spirits, they know who you are.  I know investigators (including myself) who do protection rituals and make it very clear that they cannot harm me or follow me.

Now the Ganzfeld Experiment…such a fascinating element of parapsychology.  Does the Ganzfeld Experiment open yourself up to experience things you couldn’t in your everyday life?  I believe so and no.  Does it permanently leave you vulnerable to psychic and spiritual phenomenon?  It has the potential.  Does participating in this leave a permanent bullseye for any spirit to notice you and possibly go after you?  I doubt it, but I would certainly love to talk to someone about it who knows more than I do

Now when it comes to things like seances and ouija boards, that is another ballgame.  Or is it?  When investigating, you are asking for communication.  And with seances and ouija boards you are requesting communication.  It’s a fine line, but I believe there is a difference.  Seances come in many forms.  Seance comes from the French term, “sitting” or “seat” and rose in popularity when Spiritualism broke out.  There is something to be said sitting in a circle with other people trying to communicate with spirits, especially through a medium.  And with ouija boards, I have a great respect for them but I would probably never use one.  I’ve heard and experienced too many negative things tied with a ouija board, especially when it comes to the disposal of one (always bury, never burn).  Ouija boards are typically associated with bringing in an inhuman spirit.  What else is funny is that ouija boards are sold in toy stores and made by Milton Bradley.  There are also ouija board necklaces being sold.  I was actually offended when I saw this.  Paranormal investigating or “ghost hunting” is already seen as a novelty as it is.  Technically you don’t even need to buy a ouija board, you can draw a board on a piece of paper or napkin and go from there.  It’s that simple.  Ouija boards are made by toy companies, what happened to the respect of the possibility that these things can do potential harm? Wearing a necklace with a ouija board shouldn’t be a fashion accessory or seen as cute.  That could open you up for potentially negative activity as well.

Is there a safe way to use a ouija board?  I’m sure.  But you need protection which leads me into my next point.  Protecting yourself is very important.  There is a fine line between not protecting yourself and building a wall so thick that you cut yourself off from any activity.  Where do we draw the line?  It’s hard to distinguish.

In closing, when you decide to investigate the paranormal, you need to make sure you do what you can to stay safe while still allowing yourself to experience activity (at least for me, for purposes of collecting evidence and documentation).  And protecting yourself not only during an investigation but during your normal everyday life.  I started investigating when I was 14.  Looking back, it was probably not the safest thing to do, especially investigating solo as a teen with only the internet as my guide.  But it taught me so much about myself, the paranormal and how to protect myself and conduct myself on an investigation.  I’m still not an expert.  I read as much as I can and watch other teams as they do investigations.  What I want to close this post with, is that you should always be in the pursuit of knowledge.  Keep reading, keep watching, and never stop learning.