Forgiving Myself: A New Book…Four Years Later

Did you know it’s been four years since my last book? That’s a long time. I’ll try to go into details as to why without the intention of giving excuses. The reason why I wanted to write this blog is that authors will so often beat themselves up over not producing content. Then months turn into years, and before you know it…years have gone by. Or, in my case, four years.

Before we get started, I have to do a shameless plug, because I just put out a new book. You can grab a paperback copy of “The Brave Mortal’s Guide to Ghost Hunting” here, and you can get it on Kindle here. After you’ve read the book, please review it on Amazon and Goodreads! Reviews are so beneficial to authors and it’s the best thing you can do for them!

Back to the journey.

I can’t really pinpoint the catalyst for my lack of writing. It could have been very well due to the fact I was writing for a living for a very well-known YouTube channel. We’re talking 5,000-6,000 words per day on various topics. By this time, my book, “The Haunting of the Tenth Avenue Theater” was already written, and I was playing the waiting game for it to get published nearly a year later.

Then my mom passed. Writing did become part of my grieving process, but the content will never be seen by the public. Before my mom left this world, I already struggled with depression and anxiety to an extreme amount. I had also just had surgery to remove cancerous cells in a vulnerable part of my body. I was a wreck. And side note…the grieving process for a parent never ends. Even as I approach the fifth anniversary of my mom’s death, I still miss her…maybe even more so.

For the sake of avoiding gory details, my mental health took a dive. There were stories I wanted to tell, and knowledge I wanted to share, but I couldn’t get the words out. Then, responsibilities for my paranormal team grew exponentially, and I didn’t have the help to make it function the way the team wanted to. In short, I was burning out really quickly. Due to other things going on in my life, it wasn’t long before the words dried up completely.

It also didn’t help that I was surrounding myself with toxicity, and I didn’t see it. But it took a massive event to make me realize that my current situation was unhealthy, if not borderline unsafe. That was what made me realize I had lost myself and who I was. I also wasn’t taking care of myself both physically and mentally.

I also had to forgive myself and take responsibility for my own actions. I also had to cut myself some slack. Okay, a lot of slack. For the sake of my health and my existence, I had to start taking it easy on myself. Before I could even put words down on paper, I had to do this. I had to look at those in the eye who made me feel like less than human and say, “No more.” I had to put down boundaries and make decisions for my own benefit instead of that of others, because the latter was not only getting me nowhere, it was killing me.

It wasn’t long before the words came back. I started off simple; if I got 100 words per day, that was an accomplishment. Then, I built back up to about 2,000 words per day. It didn’t happen overnight. I also allowed myself to have breaks. I wasn’t competing with anyone, and I could finally write under my own [lack of] rules.

Before I knew it, my book was done.

So, here I am…another book out. My next writing adventure is diving into a world that I’ve spent years creating…and finally making that leap into fantasy. I can’t wait for you to meet these characters!

In the meantime, if you’ve ever wanted to check out ghost hunting, check out The Brave Mortal’s Guide to Ghost Hunting on Amazon!

San Diego & Raleigh: My Home(s) Sweet Home(s)

I’m currently in San Diego, CA right now to give “The Haunting of the Tenth Avenue Theater” a proper launch! Tonight at 7:30pm, I’ll be doing a signing at Mysterious Galaxy Bookstore and tomorrow night there will be a launch party at the site where the book takes place. You can still join the party and RSVP! The party tomorrow, October 24, 2015 starts at 8pm.

bee-map

It’s been almost three years since I left my beloved Southern California home. It’s rather odd still to see a North Carolina license plate on my car and no longer having a valid California driver’s license. Everyday, I dream of heading back out west. But, at the same time, I’ve made some attachments in North Carolina. The Tar Heel State is starting to grow on me and feel more like home. I can certainly do things in NC that I’m not able to do in California, like be a part-time writer and work a full time job and still be able to pay my bills.

A few years ago, I would have said moving to Raleigh was the worst decision I ever made. But had the move not happened, I wouldn’t be where I am today. I wouldn’t have become the writer I am today, and I certainly wouldn’t be a published author. Crazy how the world works sometimes.

For the first time since I moved, I actually miss North Carolina. Perhaps it’s because Chris is there, but Raleigh has its own charm. I do hope to move back to California someday, or at least make some more visits. But for now, I guess I’ll just consider myself a bi-coastal transient still trying to find her place in this world.

Where Do Ideas Come From?

Here we are almost half way done with August.  How is it that summer is almost over?  I haven’t posted in quite some time mainly due to the fact that I’ve gotten extremely busy in the last few months unexpectedly.  Busy is good.  Very good.

I’ve been pondering the idea of…well, ideas.  I’ve been thinking about the origin of ideas lately and wondering where the most brilliant ones come from.  I tend to find inspiration from brainstorming with my friends and colleagues.  I also find inspiration in nature and people watching.  People watching truly is fascinating if you want to learn about mankind.  There are so many different people, and each individual human being has their own expanded story waiting to be told.  There are so many dynamics and different levels of energy out there in the world.

I was also talking to a few other people and we discussed how drugs may have had a lot to do with some of the more brilliant ideas.  Can we only achieve genius with outside influences?  Do they unlock a part of our brain that is untapped when we’re sober?

This is a short blog, but I would love to hear your thoughts and opinions as to where ideas come from.

Reading Real Books

I have yet to purchase a Kindle or anything that would force me to read from a screen.  There is something about holding a book in your hand, touching the pages, holding the book at weird angles in the pursuit of comfort, the smell of old books…the list goes on.

I’m sure eventually I will succumb to the fast pace of technology and buy a Kindle.  A good example would be if I were traveling for a long period of time and I didn’t want to carry a million books in my bag.  That makes sense and is logical.  But with the recent closure of Borders, I’ve been thinking, is this the downfall of books as we know it?  I certainly hope not.  Only because technology will fail us eventually and we won’t have a resource for some of the world’s greatest literature.  Plus, Kindle prices are that much different from buying the tangible book so…I don’t know…buy the actual book?

I’m a traditionalist I suppose.  I don’t want to cross over into the Kindle world yet.  I want to hang on to my paperback and hardcover books, curl up with a cup of tea, wrapped in blankets and read the night away.