Category: Writing

Forgiving Myself: A New Book…Four Years Later

Alex Matsuo2 Comments

Did you know it’s been four years since my last book? That’s a long time. I’ll try to go into details as to why without the intention of giving excuses. The reason why I wanted to write this blog is that authors will so often beat themselves up over not producing content. Then months turn into years, and before you know it…years have gone by. Or, in my case, four years.

Before we get started, I have to do a shameless plug, because I just put out a new book. You can grab a paperback copy of “The Brave Mortal’s Guide to Ghost Hunting” here, and you can get it on Kindle here. After you’ve read the book, please review it on Amazon and Goodreads! Reviews are so beneficial to authors and it’s the best thing you can do for them!

Back to the journey.

I can’t really pinpoint the catalyst for my lack of writing. It could have been very well due to the fact I was writing for a living for a very well-known YouTube channel. We’re talking 5,000-6,000 words per day on various topics. By this time, my book, “The Haunting of the Tenth Avenue Theater” was already written, and I was playing the waiting game for it to get published nearly a year later.

Then my mom passed. Writing did become part of my grieving process, but the content will never be seen by the public. Before my mom left this world, I already struggled with depression and anxiety to an extreme amount. I had also just had surgery to remove cancerous cells in a vulnerable part of my body. I was a wreck. And side note…the grieving process for a parent never ends. Even as I approach the fifth anniversary of my mom’s death, I still miss her…maybe even more so.

For the sake of avoiding gory details, my mental health took a dive. There were stories I wanted to tell, and knowledge I wanted to share, but I couldn’t get the words out. Then, responsibilities for my paranormal team grew exponentially, and I didn’t have the help to make it function the way the team wanted to. In short, I was burning out really quickly. Due to other things going on in my life, it wasn’t long before the words dried up completely.

It also didn’t help that I was surrounding myself with toxicity, and I didn’t see it. But it took a massive event to make me realize that my current situation was unhealthy, if not borderline unsafe. That was what made me realize I had lost myself and who I was. I also wasn’t taking care of myself both physically and mentally.

I also had to forgive myself and take responsibility for my own actions. I also had to cut myself some slack. Okay, a lot of slack. For the sake of my health and my existence, I had to start taking it easy on myself. Before I could even put words down on paper, I had to do this. I had to look at those in the eye who made me feel like less than human and say, “No more.” I had to put down boundaries and make decisions for my own benefit instead of that of others, because the latter was not only getting me nowhere, it was killing me.

It wasn’t long before the words came back. I started off simple; if I got 100 words per day, that was an accomplishment. Then, I built back up to about 2,000 words per day. It didn’t happen overnight. I also allowed myself to have breaks. I wasn’t competing with anyone, and I could finally write under my own [lack of] rules.

Before I knew it, my book was done.

So, here I am…another book out. My next writing adventure is diving into a world that I’ve spent years creating…and finally making that leap into fantasy. I can’t wait for you to meet these characters!

In the meantime, if you’ve ever wanted to check out ghost hunting, check out The Brave Mortal’s Guide to Ghost Hunting on Amazon!

10 Things to Think About Before Working from Home

Alex Matsuo

When I get emails from people who want to make a living from the comfort of their home, they always want to know how long it took me to reach that point. When I first started writing as a paid job, I didn’t expect it to become a full-time gig. I would write after I got home from work for a few hours per day. I will be honest and say I got lucky because I was already a decent writer, and it earned me the attention of the higher-ups with my company. I also had an article go viral with 13 million views thanks to a report from Yahoo News. When deciding to make that leap to working from home, there were many things that I had to think about. Here, I’ll share with you the 10 things you need to think about before working from home.

10. Does the Work Have Longevity?

Working from home is a nice idea in this moment, and you’ve found that you’ve gotten a well-paying gig that will pay for a few months of your bills. Before you submit your two weeks; notice to your boss, think further ahead. Where do you see yourself in 6 months? 1 year? 2 years? Do you still see yourself still maintaining enough gigs to work from home and be able to still eat and pay your bills?

9. There Will Be Dry Spells

When working as a freelancer, there will be times where the work isn’t as plentiful, or there may be mishaps in getting paid. When this happens, we know that the bills won’t wait. While you are still working a full-time job, start saving your money for about 6 months worth of your bills and expenses. This may seem daunting and may push your quit date a bit further, it will be well worth it when there are dry spells with freelancing.

8. Test the Waters

If you’re getting a decent amount of work while freelancing, and you want to see if you can get enough work to cover your regular income, then consider going part-time at your day job temporarily. If that’s not possible, then maybe take a few half-days per month. Of course, you don’t want to jeopardize your day job or lie to your boss. If you have vacation time that you need to use, then that would be a good opportunity to use that time to see what you can really pull off if you didn’t work at an office or day job.

7. Your Workspace

Working from home is much more than just sitting at your desk or dining room table. You have to have a workspace that will be productive. Think of your distractions you have at home, and come up with a game plan to combat them. Do you have pets? Do you have kids? Does your roommate come home early to turn on the TV and catch up on shows? Ideally, you should have a room dedicated to work so you can be productive with minimal to no distractions. Close the social media tabs and concentrate on work. Does working at a coffeehouse 5 days a week appeal to you? Figure out how you can get your work done at home before making the jump.

6. Work Never Leaves

I won’t lie, working from home is fantastic. But there is a major downside: work never leaves. Even if I go into the living room, I know I can get work done if I have free time. I struggle with taking breaks. If my show is on, I’ll watch it, but in the back of my mind I’m thinking, “You could be working right now and being super productive.” You have to be able to turn work mode off at the end of each day, otherwise, you’ll never be able to give yourself a break physically or mentally.

5. Keep a Schedule

If you’re working a job that is project based with a deadline, then this bullet point is already important. Keep a schedule of your work day, and have a start time and an end time. While sometimes there is flexibility in your work day, if you don’t maintain a schedule, then you will find yourself working day and night. Or worse, you could find yourself behind on your projects because you wanted to binge watch your favorite show, or you missed an opportunity because you took a walk.

4. More Bills

If you’re working a job with benefits, quitting your job to become self-employed and working from home will mean that you will lose your benefits like your 401K and your health insurance. This is especially important to keep in mind if you have a family. Health insurance isn’t getting cheaper at the moment, so before you quit your job to work from home, make a list of all of your monthly bills. Also, be sure to make a new list each month so you’re not hit with surprise charges.

3. Assumptions

When you make the jump to work from home, your friends and family will have opinions. Some will be good. Others, not so much. I found myself correcting people when they said I was unemployed. No, I AM EMPLOYED. Today, more companies have remote employees more than ever. I decided to work from home because it was a decision that best fit my needs and lifestyle. Some people may think that you couldn’t cut it in the traditional workforce, while others may even think you’re lazy. But, none of those negative connotations are true. As you start to talk to others about your decision, take comments with a grain of salt. As we move towards a more remote-based company structure, hopefully, there will be more open-mindedness towards working from home in the future.

2. Solitary Life

When you work a day job, it is likely that you encounter your coworkers every working day. You can walk to their desk or station, have a chit-chat in the break room, even go to lunch with a coworker. When you work from home, you don’t have that. You don’t have much physical contact with other people at all. When you want to meet up with your friends, they still work at an office so they might not be able to fit you into their daytime/weekday work schedule. Make sure you go outside at least once a day for a breath of fresh air, and if you’re feeling especially lonely, call a friend or loved one just so you can be social.

1. Do What’s Best for YOU

At the end of the day, you know you. You know what will work best for you. If you’re miserable at your current job and you need a change, do what is best for your mental health. Others will have opinions, you may run into unexpected surprises financially, working from home is not the perfect solution to your problems. Before taking this leap, take careful consideration into how life will change for you presently and in the future. If taking the leap is worth it, then by all means, spread your arms and soar!

Just Because Donald Trump Got Elected Doesn’t Mean You Can Do This

Alex Matsuo

Ever since it was declared and confirm that Trump would be our next President of the United States, I’ve seen some pretty ugly stuff. Putting my views and politics aside, I’ve noticed some awful things,  dare I call them deplorable. While, I don’t want to label the perpetrators of these actions with a blanket statement as Trump supporters, many of them have been very vocal that they did indeed vote for Trump. So what’s a person to do?14992065_10207226847501121_2279199824335090980_n

While Donald Trump won the election, he has infamously done some pretty awful things
like mock a physically disabled person, trivialized the Purple Heart, insulted John McCain because he was a POW and therefore captured, made jokes about women, insulted women for their looks, etc. the list goes on. Unless you’ve been living under a rock for the past year, you already know what he has done, and I won’t rehash. Despite these actions, there were Americans who still gave him their vote. Does this mean they condone his behavior? Doubtful. They likely didn’t like Clinton for their own reasons, and went with the “lesser of two evils.”

I knew it would be bad on Wednesday morning, but I never thought it could be this bad. I have a diverse friends list on my Facebook, and I was horrified to see the stories on my timeline of my friends getting harassed, and feeling like they are now in danger. The stories didn’t stop either. They were all similar, but in different locations, contexts, etc., but they all had a common theme.

Because Trump has said and done awful things during his campaign, there are many who believe that because our President elect can get away with it, so can they. Because common decency has gone out the window since the election, I felt I had to write this.

So for the ridiculously dim witted, just because Donald Trump got elected doesn’t mean you should do the following:

14925412_10155522587184478_315739477293589002_nTrump’s election gave validation to some pretty awful people who now feel like they can get away with the above actions because “the President can do it and still get elected.” While you have the right to free speech, it only protects you from being punished by the government. It doesn’t protect you from the consequences of being a jerk, since others can also exercise their free speech rights. We still have laws and people still have rights. Violate those rights, hurt someone else, invade someone’s space, steal their property, basically crimes against people, you’ll get arrested. This goes both ways to the right and the left.

Not all who voted for Trump are like this, aka bad people. There are people who voted for Trump who are horrified by these actions.

But calling democrats and liberals whiners isn’t going to do anything to help mend the divide that has been ripped between us during the past year. Also, saying that “everything is going to be okay” just trivializes a person’s fear and pain right now. Showing empathy and understanding will go a lot further than making someone feel like their anxiety isn’t valid.

However, Trump’s presidency has a lot of people scared, including myself. I worry about our future. Those who didn’t want Trump to be President are mourning, they are angry, and they are understandably upset. Give them the space to do so. Offer compassionate dialogue and reassure them it’s going to be okay.

To any Trump supporters who are reading this and are getting offended, prove the rest of the world wrong. Show empathy to those who are hurting, hold Trump accountable for the generalized things he said. If you see your friends and family doing something similar, please, hold them accountable as well. PLEASE SPEAK OUT against the hate, the crimes, and the words that other Trump supporters are saying. Demand that it stop! These people are created the stereotype for the group you are being lumped into.

Demand that Trump makes a public statement condemning the violence, the racism, the sexism, the misogyny, the bigotry, etc. Demand that he publicly condemns and sets himself apart from the upcoming KKK parade that will be happening in North Carolina. If Trump can make it known that he doesn’t agree with the actions that have been done and the words that have been said in his name and Presidency, that is a huge step into getting it to STOP.

Even if you want to say, “But-but the liberals and Democrats and Hillary are doing it too!” What do I say to that? Be the bigger person. Be the BETTER person that you know you are. Please do not resort to this childish cop-out.

You can still support a candidate, or now President elect, and hold them accountable. I know there will be conspiracy theorists who will say this was all done by liberals posing as Trump supporters…whatever helps you sleep at night. At this point, PEOPLE need to be held accountable.

Once we rise from the ashes, we need to focus on coming together and uniting so that America has a fighting chance of getting through the next four years.

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via CBS North Carolina

3 Years Ago I Thought My Life was Ruined

Alex Matsuo
“I’m gonna take a deep breath.
Gonna hold my head up.
Gonna put my shoulders back,
And look you straight in the eye.
I’m gonna flirt with somebody
When they walk by.
I’m gonna sing out . . .
Sing out.”
On this day, three years ago, someone who I thought was a friend did something awful. About a month after I moved to Raleigh, before July 23rd I found myself newly single because my ex couldn’t take the drama anymore associated with my job. Then on the evening of July 23rd, 2013, I found out on Facebook fan page that I was now unemployed after a month long of silence and dealing with a gag order placed on me, taking the brunt of some God awful online bullying, and thousands of miles away from any support system I had. I thought my life was completely ruined. I was sitting alone in an apartment full of boxes and I couldn’t stop crying. After taking phone calls from people checking on me, I had to pick myself off the floor. Music had always been a form of therapy, and the first song I found myself listened to was “I’m Here” from The Color Purple. In the midst of my tears, I told myself that I would get through this and be a stronger person from the experience. I was at my lowest point. My mother came into town within a day to help me through it. I cried every day over the whole ordeal for a good 6 months. I gained weight. I nearly gave up on myself.
Well, it’s taken about three years, but I’m finally okay. After losing that job, getting publicly mocked and slandered on Twitter by grown adults, becoming nearly homeless, and having people who SWORE to be my friend turn their backs on me, it ended up being the best damn thing that ever happened to me. It was in that moment that I made the decision to continue to work on my book, and take it one day at a time. Things were so bad that I considered suicide. But for my mother’s sake, I made a promise to just take it one day at a time and find an outlet to work through the feelings of pain, betrayal, confusion, and self-loathing. Had I not worked on that book, The Haunted Actor, I wouldn’t have become a published author with The Haunting of the Tenth Avenue Theater. I wouldn’t have met the incredible people from the con scene, and I wouldn’t have met the incredible women who make up my team in NC. I lost a lot on July 23, 2013, but I have gained so much since then. I never thought I could live off of full-time writing, but it has happened. I never thought I could find love again, but it has happened. I never thought I would be living off of my passion for theatre, but it has happened.
“I believe I have inside of me
Everything that i need to live a bountiful life.
With all the love alive in me
I’ll stand as tall as the tallest tree.
And I’m thankful for everyday that I’m given,
Both the easy and hard ones I’m livin'”
Was the journey easy? No. I lost my mother about a year and a half ago. My mother was my biggest cheerleader, and I still feel the void every day. It’s not getting any easier, I’ve become more accustomed to the loss and getting used to it.
On Saturday night, July 23rd, 2016, I got to see The Color Purple on Broadway. It feels like this chapter of my life has come full circle, and now I’m celebrating. As I watched Danielle Brooks rock it as Sofia, Cynthia Ervio sing her heart out and receive standing ovations, and Heather Headley (a Broadway legend) sing within a few feet from me, I thought about a lyric from the show, “Look what God has done…” and savored every minute of it. Then, tonight, I’ll be seeing Hamilton, which has become a show that has meant so much to me. Hamilton has really hit it home for me that we have a limited time here, and I need to do something big to positively impact the world around me. Whether it’s telling the stories of people around me through writing and acting, or helping those less fortunate through volunteer work and donating to charity, the story I want to leave behind holds love, truth, friendship, and family.
For the first time in three years, I can afford to go on not just one, but several vacations. I’m back on track with my student loans, if not better than before. My income is better than it ever has been before. My team is doing great, and overall, things are so wonderful. Had I not had that devastating moment three years ago, I wouldn’t have the incredible blessings that I have today. I’ve learned a lot, cried a lot, bled a lot…well, I’ve been through a lot. I’ve made so many new friends and have a family here in NC. From my team members; Beth, Amy, Maeve, Amanda, to the theatre community, they have all blessed my life so much.
If you’re going through an awful time right now, while it may not seem like it, there is light at the end of the tunnel. I’ve also learned that the people who try to work against you finally get their comeuppance. You may not like the timing, but it eventually happens. The universe has a way of evening things out to restore balance.
“But most of all
I’m thankful for
Loving who i really am.
I’m beautiful.
Yes, I’m beautiful,
And I’m here”

I Broke My Writing Record – How I Wrote 15,000 Words in a Day

Alex Matsuo

I’ve been quiet for a while, mainly due to the fact that I’m working and writing a lot! As most of you know, I wrote a book about how to increase your writing speed and amount called, 10,000 Words. Well, last weekend I broke my own record and wrote 15,000 words. No, there won’t be a sequel to the original book. But it’s good to know that I can do it.

However, the question is, “Do I want to do that again?”

The answer is no! I worked for a total of 19 hours from 7am-2am. It wasn’t the greatest day ever, but I had procrastinated my work to a point where I had to get this done. I was able to keep my energy and focus up thanks to caffeine, having a good program on television for background noise, and lots of support from my boyfriend. I know if I have to do this again, I certainly can.

I take trips as my writing reward. Here's me at the Battle of Yorktown!
I take trips as my writing reward. Here’s me at the Battle of Yorktown!

Was I creating the most innovative content on the Internet? Nope. I was word vomiting and just getting it all out for the sake of getting it out. I edited my work after a good night’s sleep, a healthy meal, and a day to mentally recover so I could look at my content with rejuvenated eyes. My content of 15,000 words was far from ready to be turned in at the natural state it was in. So, be sure to edit as much as you can after you’ve gotten some rest! Also, if you do take a day to write, no matter what number ends up on the page, be sure to reward yourself!

That’s all for now. I’m going to be popping in more often, so get ready! 🙂

 

Goodreads LOVES “The Haunting of the Tenth Avenue Theater”!

Alex Matsuo

Time to brag! My eyes are stinging from welling up with tears…

“The Haunting of the Tenth Avenue Theater” has already got some AMAZING reviews on Goodreads! Click here to read: https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/25773383-the-haunting-of-the-tenth-avenue-theater

“I am a big fan of ghost stories in many different varieties. Not only do I enjoy books, but I am also a fan of the different shows on television. I thoroughly enjoyed this book. I loved the way Matsuo walked you through her early experiences and into the story of the theater. Reading this book was like talking to a good friend. I felt as if I was beside her during her investigations and experiences. I would recommend this book to anyone who likes paranormal books.” – Lori Shafer

“I love a good ghost story. This one was amazing. I hope to someday be able to visit this location and see for myself.” – Jennie Schell

“This book was a fascinating look into an old building in Sand Diego, originally built in 1869 as a huge church . Over the years ,it has been divided and used for other groups and businesses .
The author seems to have had paranormal type experiences happen to her, even as a small child. I’d like o ear more of her stories of those years in another book !
Anyhow, she is a theatre major ,so is big into that world, and got involved with the Tenth Avenue Arts Center , in which she was taking part in the plays . She began seeing small things out of the corner of her eye, then hearing small noises, etc . She found a small group of others interested in forming a research group, and they went into the building on several ghost hunting adventures .They had quite a bit of interesting activity happen to them during these investigations.
They have heard rumors about who supposedly haunts the building( 3 main ghosts ), but had a difficult time linking any solid historical research with the building. That’s not to say the ghosts aren’t there, I guess it’s sometimes hard to find exact material that would match up date-wise to the rumors.
This was a very interesting book for people interested in ghost hunting and paranormal stories . There are also several photos taken of the outside and inside of the building .” – Julie

CLICK ON THE BOOK COVER TO PRE-ORDER!

Haunting Tenth Ave Theater (1)

Repression is a Funny Thing

Alex Matsuo

fake-smileIt’s been about 6 or so weeks since my mother died, and I’m already back to my usual activities; work, writing, radio, etc. Am I ready to be back? I don’t know. All I know is my bills have to be paid, kitties need to be fed, and I have to keep a roof over my head. Unfortunately, I don’t have the luxury to take a lot of time off from my job(s) or commitments at the moment, which means I’ve had to repress much of my grief. If the tears come while I’m in public, I’ve had to find a way to repress them and stop them from flowing. I have to keep a happy persona at all times when on the clock, lest I offend someone or I do something wrong that can jeopardize my job. In doing all of this, I’ve realized that I’m starting to dehumanize myself. The tears are inconvenient, but when there is a convenient time, I can’t get myself to cry. In fact, I can’t get myself to feel anything anymore, sometimes neither positive or negative. That honestly scares me. I don’t feel like I can grieve anymore, and I have to shut myself off. There’s still so much that has to be done in wrapping up my mother’s affairs that I can’t afford to stop and cry, or I’ll lose time. I’ll lose the ability to get done what has to get done.

The result of my actions has led me to become extraordinarily exhausted. I feel like I’ve sprinted a 10K (I’ve actually run a 10K in my life, so I know how exhausting they can be), and my brain can’t function. All I can do is stay in bed all day. Then my apartment gets neglected, litter boxes aren’t changed, there’s no food in the fridge, and my writing doesn’t get done. How are we able to function while we’re grieving the death of a parent?

Any emotions I do feel are anger. If I didn’t get ill, I wouldn’t have had to take an unpaid leave of absence, and I could have spent one last Thanksgiving and Christmas with my mom. The last holiday I spent with my mom was Easter of 2014. I honestly now resent all those circumstances because it robbed me of precious times with my mother. Anger and numbness. That is my life right now. And I feel so powerless and helpless in trying to change that because I keep repressing.

Honestly? I’m scared that this will be my life from now on. And I no longer have the support of my mother because…well, she’s dead. I used to talk to her about all of these issues. She would bring me back to reality after listening to my problems because she was the one who knew me best. I don’t have that….I don’t have that. I. DON’T. HAVE. THAT. ANYMORE.

Writing 10,000 Words In a Day – How Did I Do It?

Alex Matsuo

www.lynnegolodner.com
www.lynnegolodner.com

So, a few months ago, I wrote about 20,000 words over a weekend, and I kept on track writing about 10,000 words a day. Well, actually, I wrote 12,000 words on Saturday and 8,000 words on Sunday. How did I do it?

Well…

I stayed incredibly focused.

If you’re looking for an easy way to write 10,000 words in a day or 20,000 words in a weekend, you might want to look somewhere else. But I will tell you, once you accomplish this impressive feat, you will not only feeling accomplished, but you will also feel exceptionally proud of yourself.

I will say that it takes discipline, breaks, happy snacks, a few naps, and typing away vigorously. If this was something that people were more interested in learning about the details of what I did to accomplish this goal, let me know in the comments!

  1. Plan Ahead: You’re not going to be able to accomplish 10,000 words in a day if you don’t spend a few days planning it out. I spent a week researching on what I was going to write about. I made a detailed outline.
  2. Make a Schedule: I actually timed out my schedule by my typing speed. On a good writing spree, I can write 2,000 words in an hour. That should be good, right? I can be done in 5 hours! It’s not quite that simple. You have to take into consideration your writing stamina in terms of how your hands feel, how well your eyes can focus, and how much brain fog you can tolerate.
  3. Have Food & Drink On Hand: I had a mix of fresh veggies and fruit on hand that have a crunch. I like crunchy food, and having something healthy and fresh will help keep your mind clear. If you eat processed snacks like chips and crackers, and drinking caffeinated beverages for the sake of “staying awake”, you will find that your focus will not be consistent and you’ll get tired easily and quickly. Iced tea was my drink of choice. Staying hydrated is a must! Hydration helps your brain. Worried about frequent bathroom breaks? Start drinking lots of water about a week ahead of time so you’re body adjusts. Or, bring a notepad with you in the bathroom so you can make full use of your time by planning your next move.
  4. Take Breaks & Sleep: When I found I was having a major writer’s block, or to a point where I couldn’t keep going, I took a break. My breaks were spontaneous and came about every 2 hours for about 15 minutes. After 4 hours of writing, I was at about 3500 words (my 2000 word spree didn’t last long on day one), I took an hour long nap. I needed to give my brain a break and let it recharge. I also found that it was a great way to get new ideas to keep the writing going.
  5. Type Now, Edit Later: Your job on this day is to just get the words out, hence to why outlining and researching is important so you can just word vomit onto the paper. After you meet your goal, you can go back and clean it up. If you worry too much about going back and editing, you will put too much energy into something you can always handle later.
  6. No Distractions: I can’t write in silence, so I will play classical music. Some people can write with the television on. If neither of these distract you, that’s great. Let loved ones and friends know ahead of time what you’re doing so there’s no freak out if you silence your phone. Light a candle, create an environment that is distraction-free so you can get your writing done.

Obviously, this is just the short version. There are many more tips and tricks where that came from. Perhaps I’ll lump it all together into a short little e-book? What have you done to stay focused and productive on long writing days?

UPDATE: Due to popular demand, I have written a short eBook on how to write faster, write more, and develop a love for writing, and it includes how to write 10,000 words in a day! Check out 10,000 Words on Amazon!