In the paranormal investigation world, it is inevitable that we will run into a location where there are reports of spirits of children. While this can be unsettling to think about, because a life cut short is always tragic, it is a truth we have to face at times. Nothing reminds us more of our mortality than to encounter a life that didn’t have a chance to live.

The best way to communicate with child spirits is to treat them the same way you would when they were alive. However, this can be challenging for people who don’t encounter children in their daily lives or don’t work with children.

What Makes Me Qualified to Speak on This?

I worked in childhood and adolescent education for years. I started my interaction with kids helping in the church nursery in high school. In college, I spent my summers as a unit leader camp counselor for the YMCA. After graduate school, I spent my teaching career as a teaching artist for the local school district teaching theatre to kindergarten through 5th grade. In the summers, I was teaching reading skills from preschool through high school. Then, I was a preschool teacher for three years. I’ve interacted with nearly every age group leading up to adulthood before I eventually left the education field for the corporate life. But I’ve taken what I’ve learned and applied it to the paranormal field.

Disclaimer: These are just my suggestions based on my background as a former teacher and experience as a paranormal investigator. These tips aren’t the “only way” to talk to the spirits of kids.

First Things First: They’re Not Demons

Let’s get the obvious out of the way; 99% of the time, the ghosts of children are not demons. This is a very Christian-centric belief in the paranormal that often takes over the field. I’ve only encountered a few spirits that tried to come across as a child. But even so, it’s only been maybe twice in the 20 years I’ve been investigating. Not everyone in the field believes in the idea of heaven or hell. Don’t treat these kids like they’re evil entities trying to take your soul.

Get on Their Level

If you know the location is reported to be haunted by a small child, avoid standing if you can. Try to sit in a chair, or even on the floor, and get on the child’s level to communicate. Even for living children, getting on their level to communicate and talk to them is a more effective way to gain their trust so the child doesn’t feel intimidated by you. Standing over a child and asking questions could very well make them feel nervous around you and possibly remind them of someone who wasn’t kind to them when they were alive.

Be Mindful of the Tone of Your Voice

Some kids appreciate big, boisterous voices. If you’re a parent or a teacher, that voice may work in your favor in a positive manner. But sometimes, you may run into a child spirit that has been traumatized by an adult, and a loud voice may very well upset them and inhibit them from communicating. When I first initiate communication, I try to have a more neutral tone and volume to my voice in the beginning. This gives me the opportunity to gauge the comfort level of the child spirit and see how much they’re willing to communicate, their personality, and how outgoing they are.

Know How to Talk to Different Age Groups

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve gone on an investigation that’s reported to be haunted by a small child, and then it’s apparent that the young person we’re talking to is a pre-teen or older. Have an understanding of communication styles of different age groups. You don’t want to talk to a 10-year old the same way you would talk to a 5-year old. One can speculate that even in the afterlife, that spirit will reflect their age and development stage they were in upon passing.

Keep an Open Mind

The paranormal investigation practice isn’t an exact science, and we have a long way to go. This means people can make assumptions and mistakes sometimes. The way that folklore, myths, and legends can grow and evolve can quickly change the origin story for many spirits. This means that the 5-year old girl that haunts the old barn may not actually be a 5-year old girl, but instead, a 13-year old boy. Or, even an old man! Keep an open mind and don’t pigeonhole yourself into insisting on communicating with a spirit that may or may not be there.

Use Trigger Objects

If you know the location is haunted by children, bring trigger objects! This means toys, dolls, puzzles, music, whatever gets someone engaged. When trying to engage with children, people will bring different activities to stimulate that child’s mind. Just talking to people with nothing to entertain them could get bored rather quickly. Just as living children can have short attention spans, one can theorize that this is still the case in the afterlife. Depending on what you believe when it comes to evolving spirits long-term, it never hurts to try different trigger objects.

Talk About Things They Enjoy

This can apply to teenagers and adults as well. You can never go wrong talking about things that a spirit enjoys, whether it was something they enjoyed while alive, or still enjoying during their afterlife. Just like the trigger objects, talking about things like foods, their favorite colors, books, music, and depending on time period; movies and television.

Avoid Talking About Traumatic Topics

Children can sense blood in the water if you’re not comfortable talking to them, or if you have something to hide. It’s like they have that extra sense. So, when a child spirit is comfortable communicating with me, I treasure that moment and try to make the interaction as positive as I can. Talking about trauma for the sake of sparking communication isn’t okay. When you think about the living, majority of society doesn’t candidly talk to a child about their trauma, their abuser, etc. when they first meet them. Even experts in pediatric psychiatry will engage in different modes of play and other engagement methods before diving straight into trauma. As paranormal investigators, we are not that spirit’s psychologist, counselor, etc. and when we bring up a child’s abuser and just yelling things in empty rooms, it causes more harm than good. Now, if they volunteer the information themselves, it means that you’ve established enough trust with them to talk about more difficult topics.

They’re Not There to Perform

While spirit communication can be both disturbing and exciting, especially for content creation, these spirits are not there to perform for us. They’re not there to help us create spooky content. They are existing in their (hopefully) happy afterlife and doing their thing. Every time I encounter (what I believe is) spirit communication, I feel exceptionally honored. I feel even more special when it’s a child.

Final Thoughts

None of these tips are a guarantee that you will have the chance to talk with ghost children, or even that they’ll be interested in talking to you. But in a field where trauma-based ghost hunting is becoming the norm and now very popular, this is an alternative approach to paranormal investigations that doesn’t cause additional harm. At the end of the day, ghost hunting and paranormal investigating is talking to people, or at the very least, talking with something we believe is conscious and intelligent. Just as we expect spirits to engage with us respectfully, we should do the same when we enter these buildings and try to talk to those inhabiting it. If you have the chance to engage with the spirit of a child, take that experience as a gift and have a positive and meaningful interaction.

Happy investigating!

It seems so cliche…children seeing ghosts. Maybe we have that infamous scene from “Poltergeist” to thank. Remember? “They’re heeeeere.” Children seeing ghosts has been a powerful plot device in some of the most popular books, movies, and television shows. But when it happens in real life, it’s not quite so entertaining. It can be downright terrifying.

For centuries, there have been countless stories of children seeing ghosts. Some may call them imaginary friends, some call them Grandma and Grandpa. As a paranormal investigator who works on residential cases, I’m not unfamiliar with this phenomenon. Well, hearing the stories at least. I have only experienced this once.

Before We Begin

Moving forward, we’re going to go with the idea that what children are seeing is spirits. There are so many ways we can debunk these stories.

According to Dr. Kim Peirano, children have the ability to see ghosts because their awareness is much higher than us old biddies in adulthood. Children have yet to build up their walls, and therefore, notice more than we can.

Some Background

Since I got my bachelor’s degree, I’ve been in the classroom in some form or another. I’ve also run and designed camps at the local YMCA in college. I’ve been working with kids in some capacity for over ten years from all different age levels. In 2014, I found myself working as a preschool teacher for pre-kindergarten.

When you’re a preschool teacher for Pre-K with a class of 18 students, you get to know these kids pretty well. You’re with them for eight hours per day, five days per week. You get to know their families, their habits, what makes them thrive, what upsets them, are they tattle tells, are they quiet and reserved, the list goes on. I’m also aware that children at this age (four and five year olds) can be highly imaginative and make up stories.

So, what I’m saying is that by the Spring of 2016, I knew my class pretty well by this point.

“She Won’t Leave Me Alone”

It was our afternoon playground time after snack. This playtime usually lasts about 45-minutes. But on this particular day. We have three Pre-K classes. We all eat together and play together on the playground. While I’m not with all 54 kids all the time, I know every one of them and most of their names. I tend to get to know faces and personalities more than knowing their names.

So one of the kids from another class comes running to me saying, “Ms. Alex! Karen won’t leave me alone!” in his tone of when he’s tattling on one of the kids…whining inflection, pained look in his face, the whole shebang. For purposes of privacy, I’ll call him Billy.

I quickly call out Karen’s name to talk to her, and I quickly realize that out of the three classes, we do not have a Karen. We don’t even have a Karen in the whole preschool, which goes from infants to 5 years old. But the Pre-K kids play together, and we don’t mix age groups.

I stop and ask Billy, “Are you sure your friend’s name is Karen?”

Billy: “Yes!”

I confirm that he wasn’t meaning one of the other little girls. He says no.

So I ask him to point Karen out to me. I’m thinking maybe even after being in that class for 10 months (our “school year” is from August to July), maybe he forgot his friend’s names or he was stating a nickname.

Billy: It’s that girl over there in the white shirt!

I look over and there is no girl in a white shirt as all the girls are in pinks, purples, oranges, and blues. So I tell Billy to take me to Karen. He takes me to the fence and points to the woods next to the playground. I ask him if he sees her now and he whines, “Yes! Karen won’t leave me alone!” I told Billy to go play at the slide and ignore Karen, and my coworker and I just looked at each other with big eyes.

Explaining it All

Now, there’s a chance that little Billy was trying to project his issues onto an imaginary friend because he was too intimidated to point out the real Karen. There’s also a huge possibility that Karen was imaginary and he was trying to engage in some sort of social structure and explore communication.

Tag: child ghosts

Little Voices from Beyond: How to Speak with the Ghosts of Children