Is This What Pride Feels Like?

February 24, 2017 Alex Matsuo

Last night was our last rehearsal for “The Vagina Monologues” before we moved into the theatre. I’ve been getting told by my friends and family how proud they are of me for pulling this off and putting it together. Most people know how I feel about compliments, and I’ll keep the tradition going. This production was so much bigger than me! It was a massive puzzle that had to be put together, and every person involved has been a piece of that puzzle. Without them, this production wouldn’t have happened.

I’ve been crying a bit for the past day, but for once it’s because of a good thing! I’m so proud of this show! I can’t even explain in words how much my heart is bursting! It’s been a journey, but it has been SO POSITIVE!

This was honestly a crazy idea that I had back in December. This means that this production was a last minute decision that was pulled together in less than 3 months. I honestly could not have done it without Loni Price, Pimpila Violette, Emily Hamm, Ashley Jones, Alissa Alba, and Sarah Gendron. They were the first to answer the call when I put it out on social media that I wanted to do “The Vagina Monologues.” They kept me grounded, went along with the crazy ideas, and put their whole hearts into this project. I owe you ladies so much, and I don’t know how I will ever repay you.

Not only that, but I got so lucky with this cast.

For example, Kelly McConkey dove in even before she auditioned and was getting donation items, gave out of her own pocket and spread the word about the show like a true leader. She boosted me up when I felt hopeless and ready to give up on everything in my life, even on the paranormal side!

Joanna Herath is such a joy in my life. She was in the staged reading of my play, “Japanese Eyes/American Heart”, and she is amazing in Vagina Monologues. She has also done tremendous work on our fundraising end and made it possible for us to have a counselor present for our show.

I hadn’t met a few of the women before this show. Like Arin Dickson…holy cow! She is so passionate, and can own a stage like no one’s business! I am so glad she is with us!

Arrissia Blanton is one of the strongest women I have ever met. She brings so much to her monologue, and you don’t want to stop watching her!

Chelsey Winstead is not only a sweetheart, but she makes me laugh so hard that I’m in near tears. I have enjoyed getting to know her, and I look forward to working with her in the future!

Speaking of tears, Maribeth McCarthy made me cry last night with her reading of “The Vagina Workshop.” I hadn’t worked with Maribeth before, and I’m so glad she wanted to be a part of this!

Amani Mckenzie brought new life to “My Vagina Was My Village” and her sweetness just made her portrayal of the devastation that much more heartbreaking.

Every day, Nicole Graziano inspires me to do more, live better, and be a fighter. She is someone who I feel honored to be in the show with.

I knew of Lauren Bamford but I hadn’t had the chance to see her perform until now. She brings “Hair” a new life that I have never seen before.

I can watch Lynnette Barber perform all day. She brings about a sense of calm and control that is so fascinating to watch, and she has one of the longest pieces in the show. And you know what? She rocks it and does it justice!

Sharon Moyer…where do I begin? What a talent and such a joy to work with. She is so dedicated to the cause that she drove from Fayetteville to be a part of this cast. She saw the cause as THAT important, and she makes me weep during “I Was There in the Room.”

Nan L. Stephenson has the challenge of bringing the annual Spotlight monologue to life. Let me tell you all, it’s a doozy. But Nan takes it on flawlessly and brings Eve’s words to life in such a way that I want to stand up and rise for the cause.

Seema Kukreja is one of the most passionate people I have ever met! She has put her whole heart into this production, and she has given so much of herself! Having her in this show is truly a blessing.

As I watched the cast run through the show on Thursday night, I thought, “Wow…we have a show.” I felt so proud of these amazing women!

I have to give major kudos to Michelle Johnson. When we needed someone to wear the Pinky costume…aka dress as a giant vagina, she volunteered and has owned the role!

Kelly Buynitzky has been a tremendous helper since day one by spreading the word. Even at auditions, she was helping us sort papers, and she has helped promote the show.

I have to say how grateful I am to Jennifer Torres of Wake Health Medical Group. I met her at Friday Free for All at “Bob and the Showgram” and when I learned she did vaginal rejuvenation sessions, I knew I had to tell her about Vagina Monologues! Not only did she help promote, but also donated a rejuvenation session for our silent auction that’s worth $750! You can check out V-Day Raleigh’s silent auction here.

Finally, I have to give kudos to our show night volunteers! Ann Haigler, Heather Curry, Janice Blevins Hillanbrand, Julia Fair, Elizabeth Breakey, Marianne Ayers, Ciaran Cavanaugh, Juanita Velázquez, and Chris Yarborough will be on the front lines during the show to make sure the patrons have a great experience. And we also have Sheri Leider coming as our counselor in case anyone is triggered by the content.

I hope you will be able to join me on Monday February 27th and Tuesday February 28th at Sonorous Road Productions and see all of this hard work come to fruition as we raise money for InterAct of Wake County!

To get tickets, please click here. To donate to V-Day Raleigh’s Generosity page, click here.

Ghostbusters 2016: My Review

July 17, 2016 Alex Matsuo

It seems that my thoughts on the latest “Ghostbusters” movie has been waited on with bated breath! I will also say that this is one of the rare times that I have made an effort to see a movie on opening weekend. I did this mainly for the fact that I didn’t want to wait to see the movie, and the two “Ghostbusters” movies are my absolute favorites. In other words, I’m a “Ghostbusters” fan girl. Yes, I’m a paranormal investigator and I love “Ghostbusters.”

First, are any of the “Ghostbusters” movies true to actual paranormal investigating? Of course not. There are a few nods to the actual practice of ghost hunting, but it’s an exaggerated portrayal to what we actually do. No, there are no proton packs. No, we can’t actually contain a real ghost. No, we don’t have the uniforms. We have t-shirts, but not the suits.

"Ghostbusters" 2016 - Columbia Pictures — “Ghostbusters” 2016 – Columbia Pictures

Okay, now that we have that out-of-the-way, I want to say this: THIS MOVIE IS AWESOME! When it was first announced that there would be a reboot of the classic movie with an all-female Ghostbusters team, there was massive skepticism. I will admit that I was uneasy about the idea. After I saw the trailer, which featured a lot of slapstick comedy, I became a little more excited, but I was still worried that the movie wouldn’t meet my expectations. Already, women in the paranormal field have a really hard time, and female-driven movies have a hard time in the entertainment industry as it is.

Let me tell you that this movie is fantastic. While it is a reboot, it is unique all on its own. There are cameos from the original “Ghostbusters” cast, and there are enough nods to the original that satisfied my inner fan girl. I got a little choked up seeing Egon’s cameo, but I won’t spoil it for anyone. It was refreshing to see Melissa McCarthy in this strong lead, as well as see Kristen Wiig and Leslie Jones. But the standout star to me was Kate McKinnon, who was the perfect blend of Egon and Venkman. I can’t forget Chris Hemsworth as the HILARIOUS receptionist who isn’t the brightest crayon in the box, but he is so adorable and endearing that you can’t help but love him.

In other words, go see this movie! It is worth your ticket price and your time. Whether you like the paranormal or not, you will be entertained and talking about the movie long after you come home from the theater.

Also, make sure you stay through to the end of the credits. There is an end credits scene that will make any longtime Ghostbusters fan squeal with delight!

What did you think of the movie? Let me know in the comments and vote in the poll!

[polldaddy poll=9472690]

When Love Drowns Out Hate

June 19, 2016 Alex Matsuo

I wrote something different today. Instead of wallowing in sorrow over my lack of a father for Father’s Day, I decided to try to make my voice louder in regards to people I love: the LGBT community. While the effects of House Bill 2 don’t directly affect me personally at this time, I know people who it does affect, and many of them aren’t even gay or members of the transgender community.

Anyway, of course, with any bill such as this, there will be a loud response from both sides. This certain situation is no different. While I wasn’t there personally, my friend Beth was, and she captured the moment on camera.

To see what happened, check out my Buzzfeed post: Gay Men’s Chorus Drowns Out Hate In Protest Of HB2 And The Orlando Massacre

San Diego & Raleigh: My Home(s) Sweet Home(s)

October 23, 2015 Alex Matsuo

I’m currently in San Diego, CA right now to give “The Haunting of the Tenth Avenue Theater” a proper launch! Tonight at 7:30pm, I’ll be doing a signing at Mysterious Galaxy Bookstore and tomorrow night there will be a launch party at the site where the book takes place. You can still join the party and RSVP! The party tomorrow, October 24, 2015 starts at 8pm.

It’s been almost three years since I left my beloved Southern California home. It’s rather odd still to see a North Carolina license plate on my car and no longer having a valid California driver’s license. Everyday, I dream of heading back out west. But, at the same time, I’ve made some attachments in North Carolina. The Tar Heel State is starting to grow on me and feel more like home. I can certainly do things in NC that I’m not able to do in California, like be a part-time writer and work a full time job and still be able to pay my bills.

A few years ago, I would have said moving to Raleigh was the worst decision I ever made. But had the move not happened, I wouldn’t be where I am today. I wouldn’t have become the writer I am today, and I certainly wouldn’t be a published author. Crazy how the world works sometimes.

For the first time since I moved, I actually miss North Carolina. Perhaps it’s because Chris is there, but Raleigh has its own charm. I do hope to move back to California someday, or at least make some more visits. But for now, I guess I’ll just consider myself a bi-coastal transient still trying to find her place in this world.

Reflections on Becoming a Published Author

October 8, 2015 Alex Matsuo

Today is absolutely surreal. I never in a million years thought that I could become a published author. The whole concept is unbelievable, and I can’t tell you how extraordinarily lucky and blessed I am for this opportunity. Llewellyn Worldwide has been an absolute dream to write for, and I’m eternally grateful for this amazing opportunity that they have given me.

Of course, many people will wonder where I got the idea for the book. To be honest, the idea of an entire book dedicated to a haunted theater in the midst of a busy city was not new for me. It was an idea that I had been cooking in my mind for a few years now. The Tenth Avenue Arts Center is a beautiful location and has become quite the hub for the arts to cultivate. It is also home to quite a crew of ghosts who have found a home in the multiple stories, performing venues, galleries, and more.

I hope you will consider getting your own copy of The Haunting of the Tenth Avenue Theater and explore the stories and experiences that I and my team shared individually, and as a group. The publication is in perfect timing with the upcoming Halloween season, and is sure to be a wonderful addition to your ghost story collection.

To my friends who have been my cheerleaders and supporters, thank you so much! To my family who has carried me throughout the year, you mean more to me than you’ll ever know.

Finally, to my mother, who isn’t here on this Earth to celebrate with me, I hope I’ve made you proud. I miss you everyday, and this celebration is a collaboration of happiness and sadness as I feel your absence during this time.

The Performance of Ghost Hunting Part I

March 30, 2015January 6, 2023 Alex Matsuo

This is a two-part post about my studies into the relationship between performance and the act of ghost hunting.

A performance is typically defined as an event where there is someone who is presenting something, and there are a group of people observing. This definition of performance is not limited to only theatres or television and movies. A performance can take place at nearly any time of day at any kind of location. Performances can happen at school with the popular crowd, and they can happen at ghost hunts. Scholars have written thousands of book on performance studies and there are even degrees dedicated to the discipline. As a society that is ever growing and changing on a regular basis, there are so many different types of performances out there that appease almost every person out there. From traditional musicals that warm the heart, to the heart-wrenching dramas that influence someone to call their mother to tell them they love her, to the soul shattering avant-garde performance that makes you analyze what it means to be human….performance is an essential part of our existence that is necessary in order for us to survive and thrive.

Before we dive into the performance of ghost hunting, let us take a moment to consider the relationship between performance and spirituality. The earliest roots in theatre lie in ancient Greece in something called, “ritual reenactment”. Back before theatre and performance was established, the ancient Greeks wanted to honor the gods by telling stories of their greatness. This initially began as “oral tradition” where someone would dramatically tell stories of the gods, with an audience watching. The audience would then become performers themselves and spreading the stories around like wildfire. With ritual reenactment, these early performances including singing hymns and performing some kind of movement.

To keep this along the lines of being the abridged version, the villages and tribes began to compete with each other by adding costumes, live music, and written texts in their performances for the gods. One could argue that the original audiences were the gods, and the transition from performing for them to performing to fellow humans was one of the breakthrough moments in the creation of live theatre. Overall, theatre is a very spiritual experience, which the philosopher Aristotle argued that it was needed for the purposes of catharsis, meaning the purging of emotions. If you have ever cried during a movie, you had a cathartic experience. Catharsis was seen as a necessity for cleansing the soul.

With the thought in mind that theatre was originally intended to be spiritual and for the gods as a gift, is it a surprise that there are rumors about theatres being haunted in the first place. Some of my favorite cliché ghost stories come from the urban legend of haunted theatres from the spurned woman in white who lost her chance to be on the stage to the Macbeth curse causing shenanigans in each production, there is a strong connection there. Until the media came into existence with television and film, theatre was the vehicle for expressing society’s belief in the paranormal, and you can watch that belief evolve over time by just analyzing the plays from each time period.

I suppose that the title of this article can be misleading, as it is not an article on how to perform a paranormal investigation or ghost hunt, there are enough of those books out there on the market. Instead, it is a venture into a theory that theatre people, whether they are actors, tenant, directors, dancers, etc. they are inadvertently capturing the attention of the ghosts and causing a performance from both the living and the dead. Artistic people are interesting enough on their own, and I would not be surprised if a ghost chose to attempt communication with an artistic person over someone whose not. I will say that artists are very open-minded to the world around. Could they be lifting a psychic wall around them and making them more vulnerable to having some sort of communication with the other side? If you were dead, and you couldn’t find a way to communicate with the living, and you found someone who could hear you, wouldn’t you do whatever you could muster up to catch their attention? The answer is probably yes. But this isn’t a performance. That is the lost seeking out a solution. When the situation is reversed, and there is someone trying to communicate with a deceased person, the ghost isn’t able to communicate in the way that they used to in life, so they have to pull out the dramatic displays in order to get their point across. I would imagine that this is an extremely frustrating endeavor.

The most obvious example of performances in ghost hunting is in paranormal reality shows that became increasingly popular in the early 21^st century. It is a far cry from ritual reenactment and the once cathartic experience that was the performance space. I think perhaps the reason why for this widespread popularity was the fact that the paranormal is an unknown area of knowledge. You can’t get a college degree in paranormal studies and many people who do come forward with experiences in the public eye are portrayed as being insane and not to be taken seriously. At the end of the day, these production companies need to make money. You make money by drawing in an audience, and you keep that audience by continuing to make your show entertaining. I won’t say that the “paratainment” business has sullied the investigation field, but instead, has brought exposure to the paranormal and hopefully making people more open-minded about the existence of ghosts. In the last ten years, there has also been a dramatic rise in the number of ghost tours at numerous haunted locations, where a group of people will go ghost hunting for a night while locked in a building with a guide. The paranormal reached a new height when it came to monetizing the potential interactions with the dead, which many people pay big money for. But because the factor of money is now included in the experience, I have to wonder if along with tickets being paid, if there was an expectation of goods to be delivered (such as a paranormal experience). In turn, does this turn ghosts into entertainers? And if so, what does this mean for the ghosts at the Tenth should Jeff decide to move forward with the guided ghost tours?

I would like to say that my investigations and research into the building have not subjected the ghosts into being put into a situation where they are being asked to perform tricks, since I don’t expect them to ever perform for me. If they choose not to communicate, while I may be disappointed, I acknowledge that it is their right to not talk. But another researcher from the outside looking in may have a different opinion. Where is that fine line between requesting communication and asking the ghosts to essentially perform tricks? I suppose that it is all in the eye of the beholder and the ghosts that are being placed in that situation. If you were to ask me what my long-term goal was for the Tenth, it would be that someday the most prestigious researchers in the paranormal and psychic phenomenon visit the Tenth. It would be great to be able to secure the building for a weekend (at the very least) and let these researchers loose in the building and see what comes of it.

Performers, in terms of actors, dancers, musicians, and artists, seem to be completely different people compared to business professionals or those who don’t consider themselves to be artistically minded. For example, let us go back to the Ganzfeld experiment, which is the sensory deprivation experiment that leads to the altered state of consciousness. There was a study conducted in 1992 where the American Society for Psychical Research used twenty of the most gifted students from the Julliard School in New York City and put them through the sender-receiver experiment. The results were extraordinary because there was a success rate of 50%, which was double the success expectation rate. The facilitators of the experiment, Charles Honorton and Marilyn Schlitz then used eight musicians for the remainder of the experiment. Six out of the eight students either had direct hits or a 75% success rate. Again, these are extraordinary results. The theory behind this success rate was due to the participants; especially the musicians have a dissociated state of mind. Very much like meditation, being dissociated is very much like the feeling of being on autopilot and disconnecting from the outside word. According to John G. Kruth, the executive director of the Rhine Research Center, jazz musicians who often improvise their music will go into this state as they play, channeling the environment around them as they make up their own tune. What would happen if we allowed a bunch of actors to go in and ghost hunt for a night? What kind of results would come up from the night? If we go by the results of the study of the Julliard students and the Ganzfeld experiment, it seems as though there could be potential of a productive interaction with the ghosts.

Ready for more? Here’s Part II.

Why I Buzzed Part of My Head

November 17, 2012 Alex Matsuo

A few weeks ago, I did something very daring. I buzzed about a quarter of my head. I did this a few weeks ago and I’m finally getting around to posting about it. The day I got it done, I was being a bit of a tease by saying, “Shaving my head!”

Of course, after saying that, people were freaking out. I got interesting responses and there were a few that surprised me. Those who I thought would disapprove were cheering me on, while others who I thought wouldn’t care or would be somewhat supportive, were aghast. I sort of felt like a troll in the end when I only shaved a part of my head, but it’s still a major change.

I’ve always been known for my full head of hair and my hair color. Because of the hair color thing, I’ve never dyed my hair, and the closest chemical that my hair has been exposed to is a shine treatment that I got for myself for graduation.

So on that note, my abilities to do anything really crazy with my hair have always been limited. My mother wouldn’t even let me do the colored hairspray when I was a kid in fear that I would damage my hair color. Same thing went for temporary hair dye. Never been able to do it. Do I feel like I’m missing out on something by never dying my hair? Eh…sometimes. I get jealous of those who can dye their hair black with bold colors like pink or blue as highlights. I guess that tells you what kind of style I’m into.

But anyway, when I told my mother that I wanted to shave a part of my head, she looked at me and just simply asked, “Why?” And for the first time, I was able to give an answer that made sense and was logical almost immediately. I said, “Because it’s something I want to do for me.”

This was something that I wanted to do for myself. So often I watched other people do this same hairstyle and I always thought about how cool that looked. It was so edgy, and it was a statement of self-independence and not caring about what others think. And on the plus side, it would be easy to hide at work since all I need to do is flip the hair over.

But I’m also aware of what people may think of me with part of my hair gone. They will probably see me as a punk, a hippie, a crazy kid, unprofessional, doesn’t give a f*ck about what society thinks of me (partially true), and maybe a crazy hooligan. But they only see me for a moment. They don’t see me as my friends and family see me. They don’t see the person with the full-time job and a Master’s degree. But you know what? That’s okay.

Living with the haircut for two weeks now has taught me a lot about myself. For one, I feel like I’m myself. I feel like I’ve finally fallen into my own element and for the first time in a long time, I feel like I know myself. I feel so much more confident and happy with my appearance. Not to mention, maintenance is so much easier and my head and neck don’t get quite as hot and greasy like they used to. And straightening my hair only takes a fraction of the time it used to. This is something that I’m so glad I did and I’ll hang on to this haircut for a while. I might even buzz more off now that I know this is something I like. This was a huge step for me, because I really was afraid that it would look terrible, but in the end, I love it.

Take risks. Risk failure. If you fail, you fail. But you’ll never know unless you try.

Café Muller

June 5, 2012 Alex Matsuo

Pina Bausch’s Café Muller is a striking piece of work. I want to even go as far as describe it as striking in a literal sense because the dancers have a fascinating relationship with the space and each other. There were several moments that stood out to me as I was watching. One being when the dancer would move through the space and a man with glasses and wearing a suit would push and shove the chairs out of her way. While the dancer is graceful in her movement, the man is not. At first I thought he was a well-dressed theatre tech who was standing in to make sure the dancer wasn’t hurt. His movements were less than graceful; in fact the movements were similar to normal everyday movement. Even his rigidness reflected our society. There were striking contrasts between the female dancers in the flowing white gowns and the dancers who were dressed more contemporary. The red headed dancer in a blue dressed and heels moved about the space in short little steps while wearing an overcoat. There was one more man from the well-dressed group, who was dressed in a suit and a moment that stood out was when he was trying to pose the male and female dancers, but they would fall out of their pose and return to their desired pose. Each time the man attempted to re-pose them, they would fall out of it. Faster and faster the man attempted to fix them.

As I watched the five videos, I was confused. At first, I thought this was taking place in an insane asylum. I made the assumption from the catatonic state of the blonde male dancer and the moment of violently pushing the chairs out of the way for the female dancer. The three that were better dressed seemed to represent stability and order. But then, they were slowly unraveling as well. I decided to do extra research to find the context of the piece (to answer the insane asylum question) and I found out that Bausch’s parents owned a café after the war. She created the piece based on her experience and it made me wonder what actions and events inspired such an emotionally charged piece. The dancers all use the space beyond their conventional uses and bring the audience in to share the same turmoil that the dancers are going through.

The Creative World That Surrounds Me

April 20, 2012 Alex Matsuo

First of all, many apologies for not keeping up with this blog. I’ve had lots of exciting things come my way the last few months and I’ve gotten wrapped up in the whirlwind of the awesomeness. Is that a word? If not, I don’t care. I’m still using it.

Recently I’ve taken notice of all the wonderful and creative people in my life. Being involved in theatre has meant that I’ve taken for granted the fantastic creativity that my friends exhibit to the world around them. They inspire me. Until now, I hadn’t stopped and smelled the roses. I stopped and really thought about and took in the fact that I’m surrounded by artistic creativity. It’s not exclusive to just my theatre friends. Even my non-theatre friends have some amazing creative projects happening in their lives where I just kind of stand there with my jaw dropped in awe.

Sometimes, I feel like creativity is put into a category or a bubble of sorts. Only reserved for the artists, actors, singers, musicians, etc. But believe it or not, there is creativity happening all around us where we least expect it. Creativity has led to technological and scientific breakthroughs. Creativity has provided a form of catharsis for those who think they aren’t creative. Accept it or not, but our lives revolve around either our own creativity, or the creativity of others. When we listen to music, read a book, look at graffiti, go to the movies, watch TV…it’s all from someone’s creative (and sometime’s corporate-centric) mind. I meet so many people who say, “Oh I’m not creative like you.” Or, “It’s dangerous to have a career solely based on creativity.” I disagree and yet, agree.

“It’s dangerous to have a career solely based on creativity.”

I agree with this statement. It is dangerous. It’s a shame to admit it, but it is dangerous to have a career that completely depends on the quality of your talent and creativity. It’s easy to put your creativity aside to provide for yourself and a family. It’s necessary at that point. Unless you’re very talented, meaning that people will pay big bucks for your work, hear you talk, and see you perform…it’s a good idea to have a plan B career so that your job can supplement your passions. It’s partly what I do. But I manage to find work that is relevant to my degree in a world that perceives itself as not creative. Schools are cutting the arts program first, and it’s sad because creativity is needed for human survival. Otherwise, people would be walking around like robots following the status quo and unable to think for themselves, let alone think outside the box. I try to find creativity in all aspects of life, even in the science and mathematics departments (even though I’m terrible at it). It took someone thinking outside the box, especially to come up with the scientific name, “Ytu brutus“. It makes you wonder…how much creativity is out there and we haven’t take a moment to notice it?

“Oh I’m not creative like you.”

Well, have you ever tried? I truly believe that everyone has a creative side that they can tap into. It’s all about having the bravery to give it a shot, and the sense of humor to laugh at yourself if you think you look totally ridiculous. I’m not good at painting at all, but I do it anyway…for myself. My paintings probably won’t ever be seen by others except myself, and I’m okay with that. Tapping into my creative side is theraputic for me. I work through stress and emotions by singing, writing, painting, and moving my body to music (I don’t call it dancing). I can say that I’m not as good as others when it comes to certain artistic venues, but I do have my strengths. But there’s always going to be someone out there better than me. And whether they are famous for their work or not, there’s always someone out there whose put in more effort and work than I have. And you know what? That’s okay. I know many white collars who work corporate life by day, but then by night they put on the torn-sleeve shirts, ripped jeans, and go to band practice and write music. The secret agents of creativity are probably my favorites. You wouldn’t think they had this creative side until you get to know them. It’s like meeting a superhero…I’ll admit it. I get excited when I find out people’s creative passions and I always want to talk more to them about it.

My advice to anyone reading this: Take a moment right now. Yes, right now. And think about all the people in your life. Got it? Okay. Now pick a person. Think about their creative side. Think about what they do. Think about how their creative work has influenced and/or inspired you. Now, move on to another person. Before you stop, think about yourself. Think about what you do that is creative. What is your creative outlet? What do you do that you are passionate about? What helps you escape the stresses of life? What helps your mind to get moving?

There is creativity all around us. We just have to remind ourselves to take a moment and enjoy the fact that we are so lucky to have a left brain and a right brain to keep ourselves creatively logical.

Till next time…

Clearly Beauty & Class Are Exterior…

February 1, 2012 Alex Matsuo

I was having a pretty good morning today. I got to sleep in for the first time in a while and I was looking forward to my relaxing morning before trekking on my day’s journey. Then I logged onto Facebook and saw a blog posted by someone I very much respect. The title of this blog post stood out to me for personal reasons…

News Editor says Tattoos are Classless and Worthless

I clicked on the link to a blog and I was a bit shocked at what I was reading. I didn’t believe someone could be that narrow-minded and judgmental to people (more specifically women) who have tattoos. Suspecting exaggeration and embellishment, and being the dramaturg/researcher that I am, I looked up the original article. Nope…The Hope Blog was dead on. As I sit and wrap my head around this article, I thought about the times I’ve shared my tattoos with friends and family. All my tattoos are located on my back. They all have a very special meaning to me. And for the first time (outside of limited profile on Facebook), I’m going to share my tattoos to the world wide web.

This was taken about 2 years ago after my “Faith, Hope, and Love” piece was completed (the bruise on the bottom is from roller derby). I got this piece to serve as a reminder to myself to never settle on people who treat me badly and to always have faith in myself, hope in myself, and most importantly, love myself. It took me years to get to this place of loving myself enough to take care of myself and standing up for myself and this is what this tattoo symbolizes. Moving on, the triquetra piece was my very first tattoo that my dad bought for me and I had it done in the Castro when I was 19 with my dad holding my hand. He also got a matching piece. I’m a Christian and my faith is important to me. Now that I’m distant from my dad, it is one of my most treasured pieces of ink. And finally, the heart clef represents my love for music. Music holds so many emotions and can be joyful, funny, cathartic, relaxing, and the list goes on. I have basic knowledge of playing the piano and guitar, and even in my simple skill level, I find a sanctuary sitting at my piano or playing a few chords on my guitar. For those of you who are curious, yes, I plan on getting more ink in the future, but I’m waiting for the right piece to come along.

Tattoos are personal choices. And frankly, tattoos are no one’s business but the tattoo bearer. There are some who do get inappropriate tattoos that are more public than other, but do not classify tattooed people in the same category. Yes, there are some who take ink too far. Yes, there are people who get tattoos while under the influence. Yes, there are people who regret their tattoos. But allow me to emphasize that not all tattooed people belong in the same bubble. Just like how other kinds of people don’t belong in the same bubble.

This article opens with, “I get it. It’s the 21st century. You’re cool, you’re rebellious, you’re cutting edge, you have a point to prove, and you’re a woman. Awesome.” I’m not rebellious, maybe I’m cutting edge, I have many points to prove (I suppose) and I’m indeed a woman (last time I checked). Were those the reasons why I got my tattoos? Heck no. Tattoos are more of personal choices and a process of self-expression involving several hours in a chair going through pain. There is a level of commitment involved when getting a tattoo that is stronger than physical, it is an emotional journey.

Lisa Khoury manages to put every woman with a tattoo under the category of being classless and worthless. While I can usually respect other opinions, especially those that I may disagree with, this one…I can not respect. When it comes to displaying a judgment against a large group of people without even considering their stories and backgrounds or even showing some hard data to back themselves up, you got to be a bit…um…classy? People are entitled to their opinions. Unfortunately, that opinion may be ignorant and ill-informed.

And her antidote for wanting to get a tattoo? Go to the mall, wear high heels, get a gym membership, improve your body…look pretty. Um, excuse me? Who even said one gets tattoos to improve their body? I don’t see my tattoos as an improvement, but as a representation of a chapter in my life and there to remind myself of my own values. And by the way Ms. Khoury, beauty and class are more than skin deep (pun intended). You my dear, have managed to prove the definition of irony by writing a classless and worthless piece of writing that not only reflects the ugliness within but also how much you don’t value yourself within by attempting to degrade and lower a specific group of women who have tattoos. Ms. Khoury, based on your definition of class, I qualify. I have a Master’s degree, I have a well-paying job that helps the community, I strive to take care of myself (mostly with the exception of eating out too much), etc. But I have tattoos. So therefore, by your standards, I don’t have class.

Ms. Khoury’s article also puts much emphasis on the exterior, “An elegant woman does not vandalize the temple she has been blessed with as her body. She appreciates it. She flaunts it. She’s not happy with it? She goes to the gym. She dresses it up in lavish, fun, trendy clothes, enjoying trips to the mall with her girlfriends. She accentuates her legs with high heels. She gets her nails done. She enjoys the finer things in life, all with the body she was blessed with.” So, women with tattoos are obviously unhappy with their body and a tattoo is an attempt to improve it. So what about all the fit ladies with tattoos? And also…high heels? Really? I’m clumsy in high heels and therefore I cannot wear them without breaking my ankles so that’s why I got a tattoo instead. Obviously. And enjoying the finer things in life? Of course classy and elegant ladies sit at home in the kitchen enjoying the finer things in life. Heaven forbid she goes out and tries to change the world with her sleeved arm. It is indeed sad that in the 21st century, we still cannot get past the gender stereotypes. The definition of class by Ms. Khoury’s standards are purely exterior and should only judged as that. This goes farther than women with tattoos. Based on Ms. Khoury’s definition of class, a woman who lives simply and doesn’t wear lavish clothing, doesn’t go to the mall, doesn’t constantly work to maintain her appearance is classless. If you’re too poor to pay for makeup, high heels, gym memberships, etc. I find her definition of class a rather selfish and superficial definition.

“I’m not here to say a girl should walk around flaunting her body like it’s her job – that’s just degrading.” Okay, then what were you describing before? What are your alternatives for shopping and getting your nails done? You seemed to have forgotten to mention that.

“So what’s more attractive than a girl with a nice body? I’ll tell you what: a girl with class. Looks may not last, but class does. And so do tattoos.” You know what’s more attractive than a girl with a nice body? A girl with class who is open-minded, strong, doesn’t judge, intelligent, and ready to take on the world in whatever capacity she can without attempting to degrade other people’s life choices.

Ms. Khoury also asks some questions at the end, which I shall answer:

“But at the end of the day, are you really a happier person?”

Yes. My tattoos are a part of me. Who exactly are you to tell anyone what can and cannot make them happy?

“Has this tattoo, for instance, caused you to learn something new about yourself? Has it challenged you?”

Yes. My tattoos are there as reminders of how far I’ve come and I’ve yet to be defeated.

“Has it led you to self-growth?”

Yep.

“Nothing comes out of getting a tattoo. You get a tattoo, and that’s it. You do something productive, though, and you see results. That’s a genuine, satisfying change in life. Not ink.” I felt extremely empowered and productive after my tattoos were finished. I felt complete and proud. I’ve never felt anything like that after shopping with my girlfriends or getting my nails done. You just look pretty like a doll, and you spend too much money. Just a thought. And why does Ms. Khoury only recommends buying a gym membership? You can work out outside for free. I do feel proud after a workout, but comparing that feeling of pride with the feeling of pride after a completed tattoo is like comparing major surgery to a scraped knee, at least for me.

I find it funny how Ms. Khoury’s definition of elegance and class are solely based on maintaining your appearance. Nothing about volunteering at the local soup kitchen, using money to give to charities instead, nothing about helping the community and those around you. Nothing there about inner beauty. Only help yourself and make sure you look nice. And what is even more ironic is that even though painted nails, trips to the gym, shopping, etc. are temporary, they are permanent rituals that must be continued in order for maintenance. Plus, Ms. Khoury compares the female body to a car in the title of her article. All my tattooed female friends are possibly the coolest, and most giving people on this earth. They think of others first before themselves. They are strong women. They are mothers, they are aunts, they are best friends, they are sisters, they are grandmothers, they are wives, they are preachers, they are volunteers, they are daughters, they are girlfriends, they are caregivers, they are teachers, they are nurses, they are rescuers, they are today’s women. Passing judgment on a tattooed woman is just about as silly as judging a woman for not having tattoos.

But I digress. There are moments where not everyone will agree with each other. This is one of those moments, and as much as I want to feel bad for The Spectrum and Ms. Khoury because they will receive an intense backlash from the tattoo world. Actually, based on the reactions I’ve seen. The backlash has already started, and it is indeed self-inflicted. And I wonder, do any of Ms. Khoury’s friends have tattoos? Are they hidden like mine?

Wouldn’t that be the ultimate kicker…if someone near and dear to Ms. Khoury were to have a tattoo and then read her article. Food for thought.

Fin.