Grieving is Part of the Christmas Spirit

Christmas time is fast approaching. For anyone who has dealt with the loss of someone they love, that loss stays with them. Because of this, grief tends to permeate harder during the holidays. Yes, there’s Christmas cheer and merriment. However, it has lately turned into toxic positivity where the grieving may feel guilty for not being festive.

Even though I’m looking for spirits throughout the year, there’s something about the holidays that just doesn’t put me in a great place.

I find myself grieving just a bit more every year. It’s another Christmas without my mom, grandma, and grandpa. I’m celebrating another Christmas after a rough year of isolation, canceled shows, canceled events, and more. People this year will be hurting more than usual because COVID-19 sucks. It’s okay to not be cheerful and to feel out those emotions.

Does this mean everyone should feel depressed during the holidays? Of course not. But if grief hits you, embrace it and feel it out. Christmas isn’t just about being positive and cheerful all the time. It’s a time to embrace all those emotions because…it’s the Christmas spirit.

Charles Dickens Felt This Way

Yes, the man who created Christmas as we knew it believed that we need to embrace the dead more than anything during the holidays. But one of these beliefs didn’t really stick to modern-day; that Christmas necessitated ghost stories. Ghost stories are not only entertaining, but they also make us reflect on our own losses and ghosts.

Did you know that in 1851, Charles Dickens lost his father, his infant daughter Dora, his sister, and his sister’s son? Yes, it was the Victorian times and death like this wasn’t uncommon. However, losing four critical members of your family in one year is a lot to deal with. Because of this tremendous loss, Dickens firmly believed that we should remember the dead during Christmas more than any other time of the year. That same year, Dickens wrote a heartbreaking essay called, “What Christmas Is As We Grow Older.” I think it’s especially appropriate for this year.

Christmas Is More than Cheerfulness

Not only did Dickens believe that we should remember the dead aggressively during Christmas, but he also believed in celebrating everything. What does this mean? It means celebrating and reflecting on not only successes but failures as well. That also includes heartbreaks, financial losses, plans abandoned, and goals unachieved. That’s a startling difference from what Christmas has become today. For me, this outlook makes more sense, and it makes me feel a bit more validated.

Since my grandma died in 2000, I’ve had this melancholy outlook on Christmas. I realized that year that she was the glue that held my entire family together. I also realized that Christmas would permanently be different. The Christmas after, I had my first devastating heartbreak. Every Christmas after, there was some devastating loss or traumatic event that seemed to damper the holidays. Since then, I always felt like I was a fraud for putting on a happy face during the holidays. Who knew I was celebrating Christmas the way Dickens intended?

Valid and Loved During This Time

This idea of completely embracing all the sides of myself during the holidays has been a challenge. It’s truly a roller coaster of emotions. I guess my reason for writing this blog is to not only tell myself but to also tell my dear readers, that it’s okay to embrace it all. You’re not a fraud for trying to fake a smile during the holidays. You’re not a grump because you’re not feeling the Christmas spirit. If anything, you are capturing the true nature of Christmas. This has truly been the hardest year we have experienced as a collective population. Grief is in the spirit of Christmas. You are valid and loved during this time.

I think one of those most beautiful, and yet sad, parts of A Christmas Carol is that Scrooge is shown shadows of his past. He is shown his broken childhood, his heartbreak, and everything that made him the person he is today. He’s faced with his hurts head-on. This was an integral part of Scrooge becoming a changed man…or in this case, healed.

The Kallikantzaros: Creepy Christmas Monsters that Punish Sinners!

Not a fan of reading? Click on the video!

In the trend of shining the spotlight on the creepy side of the holidays, let’s talk about the Kallikantzaros…or the Kallikantzaroi (plural). What is interesting about this legend is that it also has a connection with the dates December 25th-January 6th. If you read my blog about Frau Perchta, her active dates were the same. Since we’re officially in the 12 days of Chistmas, let’s wrap up this series with a lesser known monster.

The Legend

In case the name didn’t give it away, the legend of the Kallikantzaros comes from Greece. You can also find the legend in other countries like Bulgaria, Serbia, Albania, Bosnia, and Cyprus. They are malevolent little goblins that spend the rest of the year underground trying to saw the World tree. If this collapses, Earth goes with it. But when the 12 days of Christmas comes around, they are able to come to the surface. The Kallikantzaros abandon their tree-cutting plans, if not totally forget them. You see, the Kallikantzaros refocus their energy on terrorizing the mortal world. 

When Epiphany happens on January 6th (and the sun starts moving again), these Christmas goblins return underground. In their absence, the World Tree healed itself. So, the Kallikantzaros start over with their sawing, doomed to repeat the tradition every year until the end of time. Actually, they’ve not considered THAT evil. Instead, they’re seen as more impish and stupid, which is why they can come to Earth for a short time.

The Origins

“Bacchanalia” by Alessandro Rosi (circa 1670)

It is believed they were inspired by annual festivals in both Greek and Roman culture. In ancient Rome, the winter festival of Bacchanalia had people wearing beast-like costumes and masks. They were often rowdy, drunk, and engaging in quite in “active” physical adventures with more than one person at a time. In ancient Greece, the festival took place in March and was more centered around theatrical performances. It was in honor of Dionysus, who also happens to be my favorite Greek god.

What Did the Kallikantzaroi Look Like?

Depending on what region you were from, the Kallikantzaros had a variety of different looks. In some places, they were envisioned with hairy bodies, boar husks in their mouths, and horse legs. Sometimes they were big, and sometimes they were smaller humans that smelled horribly. Other parts of Greece say they have red eyes, huge heads with tongues that hang out, and goat or donkey ears…and they had protruding male parts. But the most popular belief is that they are small, hairy little creatures with long black tails…looking like little Devils. What I also found interesting is they are portrayed as mostly blind and love to eat small creatures like worms and frogs…plus they speak with a lisp.

Where Did the Kallikantzaroi Come From?

This is fairly interesting. If a baby was born during the 12 days of Christmas, it was at risk of transforming into a Kallikantzaros during the holiday season once they reached adulthood. There’s another legend that said that any baby born on a Saturday was also at risk. This sounds like a weird Christmas werewolf type of legend. A way to combat this was to bind the baby in tresses of garlic and straw and singe the baby’s toenails (ouch!).

How to Avoid the Kallikantzaroi?

According to lore, there were a few things people did to avoid the wrath of the Kallikantzaros. One of the simplest ways was to leave a colander on their front doorstep. Apparently, the Kallikantzaros were not only creatures of the night, but were also idiots and couldn’t count higher than two because three was considered to be a holy number. If a Kallikantzaros were to say the number three, it would kill itself. By leaving a colander on the front door, the creature can’t help itself but try to count all the holes throughout the night. Thus, wasting time until sunrise. 

Another way was to burn a fire every night so that the Kallikantzaros couldn’t enter through the chimney. Sometimes, it was a yule log that would burn throughout the 12 days of Christmas. Marking a black cross on the door and burning incense would also help protect you against these creatures. If you threw in your stinky shoes in the fire, the smell would be enough to sway the Kallikantzaros to keep going, since they would be repulsed by the smell.

In Other Countries

In Albania, the Kallikantzaros were known as the Kukuth. But they were undead creatures that tormented you in January while carrying chains. They were known to have very bad breath.

In Serbia, the Kallikantzaros was called the “karakondžula.” They came out during the 12 Days of Christmas as normal. But at one point, in Serbia, it was believed that the 12 Days of Christmas were once known as the “unbaptized days”, thus making them less holy. Because of this, demons and monsters were more active and dangerous. Serbians were told to not do anything to attract their attention, like going out late at night. The karakondžula was a short, heavy-set creature that would jump on its victim’s back and demanded to be carried wherever it wanted. This would continue until the rooster crowed the next morning and the sun came up.

Serbian lore mainly targeted adulterers, because those committing adultery would do their sins in the quiet of the night. It was even believed that a karakondžula would hang out on the door frame of the lovers’ home, or even a brothel, and jump on the back of the adulterer as they were leaving. The karakondžula would dig their nails into the person’s skin and make them run around the forest until dawn.

In Anatolian folklore, the karakoncolos were Sasquatch-like creatures that appeared during the 10 days of Zemheri, also known as the “dreadful cold.” They would stand on murky corners and ask questions to passers-by. As long as you answered the questions, you were safe. These creatures were more troublesome, harmless, and rarely evil. They could also call out people by mimicking the voices of their loved ones.

Finally, in Bulgaria, the karakondjul or karakondjo is a shapeshifter-type creature that can transform itself into a man, dog, goat, sheep, or calf. In its normal form, the humanoid has a large head with horns, a tail, and a hairy body. It could also only have one leg or have the legs of a horse. It typically lives in caves, abandoned water mills, and rivers. The kukeri is a traditional ritual to keep these evil creatures away

What do you think of the Kallikantzaroi? Have you heard of this legend before?

Sources

http://www.hellenicaworld.com/Greece/Info/en/Kallikantzaros.html

Kallikantzaroi – Greek Christmas Goblins – Greek Christmas Customs & Traditions

Like Krampus? Then You’ll LOVE Frau Perchta the Christmas Witch

I’m a diehard fan of Krampus. I think “Elf on the Shelf” is way too soft for kids. Why make them think a creepy-looking doll is spying on them when you can use a terrifying half-goat/half-demon creature to scare them into behaving? If you don’t know the story behind Krampus, he is basically one of Santa’s buddies who punishes misbehaving children. His origins draw from German and Alpine origins. He carries chains and birch sticks to literally beat kids into shape. Some other variations include Krampus sticking children in a sack or basket, dragging them to hell, or just beating them with the birch sticks while they’re in the sack/basket in the process. Basically, I would behave if I knew Krampus was waiting in the wings to kick my butt. By the way, Krampusnacht is December 5th.

But…Krampus isn’t alone. There is a female counterpart to Krampus that is much more terrifying than our male half-goat/half-demon hybrid. And she’s much more terrifying than you can ever imagine.

Don’t like to read? Check out this video instead!

The History

Let me introduce you to Frau Perchta. She comes from Eastern Europe, German and Alpine lore, and famously known as the Christmas Witch.

If you’re into the old school fairytales, like the Grimm Brothers, then you might already know about Frau Perchta. She came into prominence thanks to the eldest Grimm brother, Jacob. According to him, Perchta was originally known as Berctha, or Bertha in the 10th century. She is believed to be the female equivalent of Berchtold, who is the leader of the Wild Hunt, a group of soldiers of mythical creatures like spirits, fairies, and elves.

Frau Perchta’s Traditions

But why exactly should we be fearful of Frau Perchta? She is the upholder of cultural taboos, like the prohibition of spinning during the holidays. During the 12 days between Christmas (12/25) and Epiphany (1/6), Perchta would roam the countryside in the middle of the night. She enters people’s homes and knows immediately if the children have been naughty or nice. She also required that the women had the flax spun by the 12th night of December. Perchta would also know if you adhered to her traditional meal of fish and gruel on her feast day.

Frau Perchta bears a striking resemblance to the Scandanavian goddess, Frigga. Both entities obsess over spinning as well as whether or not your house was clean. Jacob Grimm was convinced that Perchta was Frau Holda since she is also into spinning as well as wearing white robes.

Frau Perchta’s Appearance

Frau Perchta has been known to appear as a beautiful young woman in white robes, or an elderly and haggard-looking woman, depending on which culture you are studying. What is notable about her appearance is that she has a foot that is larger than the other. It has been known as a goose or swan foot, which could indicate that she is a shapeshifter of some sort. If you behaved, you would see Perchta as a beautiful woman. But if you weren’t, then you saw her scarier side.

If you did what you were supposed to do, then you might get a nice coin the next morning. But if you neglected to be a well-behaved child, spun your flax, and ate your fish and gruel, there was certain hell to pay. Frau Perchta would slit your stomach open and stuff you with straw and garbage.

Krampus is sounding a little more PG now, doesn’t he?

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